Divergent High: Fire v Ice

Chapter 60: What It's Like to be Alive

Turning over to where Tobias has been sleeping the past hour, spread along five chairs which looks incredibly uncomfortable but apparently has served as his bed the past month. I grab the apple that rested on my bedside which I was supposed to eat but couldn't exactly stomach at the moment I toss it precisely at his goods. Right when it bounces off of him he springs up holding his you know what groaning.

"Tris?" his tired eyes look over at me, his lips pulled up in a small smile. Scooting over I pat on the side of my bed. His smile grows slightly as he swings his legs over the chairs and slides in next to me, wrapping his large arms around me making me unconsciously sigh.
"I missed you," he whispers into my hair. Looking up at him now that I'm up close I can see that he looks ten years older than he really is, eyes sagging, worry lines creasing all over his face, and stubble spread across his chin.

"How many hours of sleep did you get here?" my voice comes out soft and I look up at him with guilt drenching my chest.
"Six on a good night, four on a bad, sometimes none if the doctors came back with bad news," his eyes don't meet mine when he says this, instead they lock onto my tattoo that rests on my collarbone.

"Hey," I lift his chin up and place a tender kiss on his lips, something that he responds to almost immediately and what began as one tender kiss turned into a passionate ravenous hunger for each other that only the other could satisfy. His hands gripped my bare waist and mine slipped under his shirt tracing the tattoos on his back which I memorized.

After a minute we break away only to gasp for breath, then I dive right back on him and rest my legs around his waist, wrapping my arms tightly around his neck as he pulls me closer to him.
"I... love you," I say in between kisses and he nips at the bottom of my lip.
"I love you more," he mumbles lowly with passion and lust knitted in his words.
"I doubt that," I laugh smiling down at him. In one swift movement I go from on top to under him and his lips are on my neck causing me to break into a fit of giggles.

"You know my parents will walk in if they hear to MUCH!" I yip as he nips at me playfully making a small moan come from me afterwards.
"And if they do?" he mumbles into my neck.
"Then they'll put a restraining order on you," I smile once more as he travels back up to my lips.
"Oh this forsaken love," his lips hover over mine and soon I'm no longer smiling but instead straight up craving him.

Our lips lock and mold into each other as if we were one. I felt everything being poured into this one kiss, the lust, the love, the fear, the hate, the anger, the sadness, the loss, all wrapped into one kiss to become pure passion. It became so much more than just lust it was love.

The feeling I got when I was with him was so much more than anything I've ever felt. I was his and he was mine. I couldn't function without him, I never understood what people meant when they said their lover was their other half, but now I do. He was apart of me and I of him.

"So this is you resting?" a disgusted and odd voice says from the doorway and Four springs off of me and soon I'm met with my brother's repulsed face.
"Uh give us a minute?" I raised one eyebrow at Four. He glanced from me to Caleb and gave me a small smirk, nodding. Bending over he whispered quietly, "As long as we can finish that later," his hot breathe made me lose my breathe and in a swift motion he was out the door.

Caleb's look of disgust was quickly diminished after he rolled his eyes and leapt on my bed. I've seen Caleb four times since I've woken up and each time I see him he gives me more information on the stuff I've missed since I've been out.

"So Zane had to go back to Australia but only for the summer, he'll be back in a few weeks," Caleb starts while pulling something out of a plastic bag. (Zane is a foreign exchange student btw) Caleb pulls out some chess and starts placing the board up and I almost feel like groaning, "Caleb I woke up a day ago do I already have to make my brain work," I whine while pouting my lips at my big brother.

"Hey the best way to get back on your feet is to do some brain exercises and I thought you'd like playing chess better than taking a practice ACT," he muses and I quickly flip the board so I get to be the black pieces.
"Hey!" he flips the board again so I'm the white.
"No I want to be the black pieces!" I complain. The first time Caleb and I played chess our grandfather told us the black pieces always win and ever since we've been fighting about who got them.

"Excuse me I'm the one who died here!" I exclaim and Caleb abruptly stops flipping the board.
"I mean..." I hesitate regretting the words I chose prior, "I'm sorry it was meant to be a joke."
"It's ok Tris, it's just," he sighs and dumbs the chess players back in the back and sits next to me instead of across.
"When you were out, everything was a mess, that's why you waking up, is just so... monumental. Not only to our immediate family and friends but also to the entire DH student body. Beatrice so many people died, so many students died," he hesitates before his next words and looks me directly in the eyes, "You weren't the only one Jeanine took, and the others, they weren't as lucky as you were."

I feel my breathe catch in my throat. Jeanine took more. The burning rage in my chest elevates and I remember the promise I made her, 'I will kill you' the threat echoes in my head and I thank God that the other's she took weren't my immediate friends.

A soft knock on the door wakes us up from out little trans, "Come in," I call out and the door slowly opens up to reveal a very old looking Amar. His appearance doesn't look much different from yesterday and I replay the moment he left over and over in my mind.
"Caleb can I talk to Tris alone for a second?" Amar's voice is deeper and thicker than normal, like he's just woken up from a year long nap when in reality I was the one who just woke up.

Caleb gives a slight nod before trotting out of the room at an odd pace as if he could feel the tension between Amar and I, which he probably could. Amar hovers in the doorway for a second before cautiously approaching me, he seemed like he was approaching a parent after admitting to them that he cheated on a test or something.

"Amar?" I ask quietly as he stands an awkward distance from me.
"Amar what the hell is going on?" I feel my heart suddenly become hard with all the grief that's been going on lately. I guess that seemed to set Amar straight because he finally meets my gaze and runs his hand down his face while pulling up a chair.

"I thought you were dead," his voice is just as thick as before but this time is laced with something else, it reminded me of the look on his face yesterday when he'd seen me wake up.
"Tris you know when I think something it happens. Every damn analysis I make every hypothesis I assume is always correct. And when I saw your limp body with wires attached to every inch of you it just about destroyed me." I notice the tone he's using now, despair.

"Tris I almost convinced your parents to pull the plug on you," his head rests in his hands and I can't tell if he's shed a tear or not.
"I was so sure that you were dead I almost killed you," this time I feel nothing. Amar almost killed me.
"I couldn't take it knowing that you were attached to some machine that would beat your heart when your soul already left you, I couldn't stand not having Four come home, or hearing the prayers that would send Tori into panic attacks because she thought you would pull through and she would cry out to God to let you live."

"Amar," my voice is soft, "leave."