Letters To A Stranger

Sku det helt opp i himmelen

"Dear Isak, 

I know I am probably overreacting, but I just can't stop thinking about my dad.
How he just left. As if looking at me, even being around me, would be unbearable for him.

And yes, I told you that I'm fine after I'd cried my eyes out in your arms for what it seemed like hours, but actually, I'm not.
What could be wrong with something as beautiful, pure and sincere as our love? What could be wrong with something that makes me feel so happy and free?
Who even gets to say which kind of love is right and which is wrong?
As long as both feel it, what could be wrong?

I just don't get it.
When my dad came home yesterday, he went straight to their bedroom, so I take it my mum couldn't convince him that, although I'm in love with you, I'm still me.
I'm not sure how to be around him, now. Should I act like nothing happened?
Will he act like nothing happened?
I don't know anything.

I just want you to be here, Isak.
Yeah, I get that you have to help Eskild and Linn cleaning the flat but I just need you now. I want you here, in my bed, holding me close and reading to me and kissing my temple and just being here.

Isak, I thought about the two of us a lot last night. How f*cking lucky I am to have found you. Because Isak, you are really the most amazing human being I have ever met.
And, I know that I have never said it out loud, but...

I love you.

I love you so much and I have never been so sure of something before.
I hope you feel the same way about me. Yes, it would be crazy if you do, but I can still hope for it, right?

My thoughts are spinning in my head.
I feel like my manic episode is starting again. Great.
I don't think I'll be going to school today.
Not that I would be able to concentrate anyways.
The only thing I might be able to focus on right now is you.
So please, come here.

I will be yours forever,

Even."

Even lazily climbed down the ladder of his bed and stuffed the letter carelessly into the cookie box. It was almost too full to close it now.

He went to the bathroom to splash some cold water onto his face. Even's eyes lingered on the medication in the shelf in front of him, but he decided to take it later, when he'd eaten a bite.

Back in his room, Even sat down at his desk and aimed for a pencil and a notepad. He began to move the pencil over the paper, creating fine, black lines. Even didn't know why, but he felt the sudden urge to draw his boyfriend.
He began with the outline of his face, his jaw and then his eyes.
Those eyes, that seemed to always glisten like someone dropped a bucket of glitter into them.

Then, Even went on to draw his nose and his lips, carefully drawing a curvy line to do Isak's cupid bow justice.
Oh, how much he wished to kiss those lips right now.

Lost in thoughts, Even drew and drew, completely forgetting about time.
The sudden vibrate sound of his phone ripped him out of his trance.

Even stuck his pencil behind his ear and picked up the phone without looking at the screen.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"Even? Why aren't you at school? I'm worried!" Isak said on the other line but Even could barely take up the content of his words, all that mattered to him was hearing the sound of Isak's voice.

"Babe..." Even began, but he couldn't remember what exactly he wanted to say.

"Are you sick or something? I know I promised Eskild to help cleaning today, but if you're not feeling well, then I'll come over."
Isak said, his voice filled with concern.