I NEED YOUR HELP!

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Hey guys. My mother and I have started drafting ideas and made chapter one of our book we are going to put on amazon.
Please read this first chapter and give me your opinion on it.
It's just a draft so please give me your thoughts on it. THANK YOU.

Chapter One

OMG, it's so long and boring.....who am I kidding it's brilliant, it was everything I would have said and more.  Jessica Weaver had achieved valedictorian and she deserved it. She had worked so hard and done double the amount of charity work than me over the past 4 years. I do sometimes wish that I had worked harder but then I would have missed out on all the amazing times me and Hunter had had together.
Mr Marsh was now on stage doing another one of his "exciting" speeches, I wasn't really paying much attention I was just too excited about going up there and getting my diploma so we could start celebrating.  Finally, 'Welcome the class of 2050'. As he started calling out the names of all the people I had known for the past 4 years I felt a little sad that I wouldn't be seeing them every day.
'QUINN CALLAHAN' I gave a loud 'WOOHOO' and clapped a little louder than I should have. Quinn had been one of my best friends since Junior school, yes at times she could be a pain in my ass and a real bitch but she was loyal and kind when she was in a good mood. She had thought about going University but deep down her parents knew it was a waste of time and money. Quinn loved the finer things in life and working or even having a career wasn't really in her cards. If it wasn't high tech, shiny or designer it wasn't important.
'WILLIAM HAYES' I shifted in my seat to see Will make his way up to the stage 'GO HAYES' he looked straight at me with a big grin on his face, I wasn't sure if he was happy or whether he was trying to tell me to shut up through his teeth. Will had been one of my dearest friends for about 10 years. His parents had moved here from the USA after the riots of '39', his family wanted something more grounded for him. All I saw on his first day at school was this little boy trying to make friends and everyone walking away from him. I saw how sad it was making him and that made me upset, I started to cry and suddenly there he was with a tissue for me asking if I was ok. From that point on we have been there for each other through thick and thin. He's like the brother I never had.
'ASHLEY NUNN' ....... 'ASHLEY NUNN', oh crap that's me. It didn't even feel like I was walking up to the stage more like floating. I said my thank yous and took my diploma, I turned towards the crowd and "FLASH, FLASH, FLASH", I was blinded by multiple cameras in my face. Once I had my vision back I saw my mum and dad's faces beaming out of the sea of people, they looked so happy. My friends were all shouting and clapping, this moment right here was the end of an era. Somehow I got back to my chair feeling like I was on cloud 9, to some people this was just a thing that happens but to me it was different. Me and Hunter had missed many parties and events to spend the night on the cube studying, we had a plan for our future and education was a very big part of that.
'HUNTER SHEA' I sprang to my feet clapping and yelling 'I love you'. It wasn't until everyone had stopped clapping that I realised I was the only one on my feet jumping around like a crazy woman. I sat back down quick, everyone laughed and eventually carried on with the ceremony, omg how embarrassing. Hunter was my soul mate, there was no other word for him. I met him through Will about 6 months into the my first year at Jackmount. Will was not happy at all about how well we hit if off but after a while he realised he couldn't do anything about it. Every day after school we got together and do homework or watch a film. Every day with him is amazing. Every now and then we have our disagreements but who doesn't, but we always make up after.
'SCOTT YOUNG' There he was, the ass hat of the group. None of us ladies liked Scott very much, he was an immature man who hadn't grown up in any way shape or form. Always messing around, causing trouble and thinking he was the greatest guy alive. Scott and the other guys had been friends from day one, all of them being on the sports team and being major participants in the VR tournaments. Don't get me wrong he wasn't a bad guy, I mean on his own he wasn't too bad but if there was another man (I use the word man lightly) around forget it .... major ass hat.

'VALEDICTORIAN JESSICA WEAVER' There she is my girl, my BFF, my sister. Jessica was my rock my whole world, the person who I called when I was in dire need of anything. In public she was this quiet mouse, never brought attention to herself but was always a major cog in whatever was happening, things didn't happen without her input. Standing there imagining she was somewhere else she looked up at me and I blew her a kiss, she gave a little smile as she left the stage.

'Congratulations to the class of 2050' the crowd of proud parents and ecstatic graduates roars with cheers and whistles. The sun was shining but there was a light cool breeze that stopped us all from cooking in these lovely robes. June 19th was the perfect day for us to finally graduate. It felt like we had been at Jackmount prep school forever, I'm so looking forwards to starting the new chapter of my life with the love of my life. Me and Hunter had both been accepted into Bellington academy, the world's most prestigious science centre of excellence as well as being a major contributor to the world of top engineers. Before any of that was going to happen we still had a celebratory party to go to and a whole summer of fun before all moving away.

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