As We Are | Book 2

The Pain Behind the Veil

            

Chapter Twenty-Two

The Pain Behind the Veil

After a glum week at work, spent sorting out paperwork and staring out the window, it's finally the weekend again.

After Monday things seemed to get worst at the café.

I had a dark feeling in my heart and dark thoughts circling my mind and I did the stupid thing of dwelling on it.

I don't have the answers. I have no idea where the future of the café is headed.

Business is going well, but I'm afraid I'm losing sight of why I established it in the first place.

My feelings have spiralled out of control so rapidly during the past week, by the time I figured out how I felt, my feelings had manifested into something else.

The feeling of guilt has been building in the pit of my stomach.

I haven't thought of Madison in weeks... and the reason why I dedicated this café to her was to keep her in my heart forever.

I've failed her and that thought itself, has been destroying me all week.

I haven't felt this terrible in years and the worst part is, I'm not the type of person to fake being happy.

I come arrive home at 8PM.

I'm greeted with a kiss from Desirae and the smell of my dinner in the oven.

"How was your day?" I ask blandly.

"Busy. Sandy Palmers came around and I showed her my ideas for the album which she seemed to love. Then your mother came around to see Benny. I've given her some advice on what we were talking about a few days ago..."

she stops talking as soon as she notices my lack of interest in the conversation.

"How was your day, baby?" she asks combing her fingers through my hair.

"It was fine."

Desirae smiles sadly. I feel guilty that I've transferred my sadness to her.

"What's really wrong Chris?"

"I've been telling you all week Des, I don't know."

I walk from the kitchen to the living room and she follows.

"I don't get it. You go to work miserable and you come back miserable."

"Lay off for a minute okay Des?"

I slump onto the sofa.

"Sorry Chris, I don't mean to stress you out. You've just been in such a mood lately and I really want to figure it out."

"How can you, when I can't even figure it out myself?"

Desirae sighs and takes a seat on the table before me, close enough for our knees to touch.

"How do you feel? Just say the first thing that rolls off your tongue," she says soothingly.

"Empty. Like I have no purpose."

"Chris, that's... that's not true."

"I know, the worst part is, I know it isn't true. I have a roof over my head, food in the fridge, people in my life who care about me, but I feel how I feel.... And I don't know why."

"It's to do with the café isn't it?" she asks, her green eyes staring me down.

"Yeah," I whisper.