Kian Lawley Imagines

why me;24

"What if I just..."

"Y/n," Jc begged, "please stop."

"Maybe if i told him he couldn't go out-"

"Y/n, it's nobody's fault.", Kian's mom said.

JC hugged you, while Dom tried grabbing your arm.

You tugged your arm away. Tonight was... it was Kian's birthday.

You stood by Kian's family as you all stared at Kian's grave in silence.

The tears dwelled in your eyes, but you were too weak to even close em. You stared at the "Loving brother and son", and felt even worse.

If they just would let kian drive that night, they would probably put "loving father and husband."

But no.

Not in this lifetime any way.

As JC and Dom stood beside you, Kian's parents stood on Jc's side and his sisters on Dom's side.

"Well, I think we're gonna go eat some cake, you three are welcome to join us.", Kian's mom said, stroking your shoulder.

You gave a weak smile as they walked away, "I'm gonna go with them, we all know Kian wouldn't want us here crying-"

You scoff at JC's remark, "y/n, he's right," Dom agrees, "I'll take you in my car."

"Yeah, well, I'm not trusting you behind the wheel-"

"Woah woah, Y/n-"

"It's fine, JC, really. You're right, I should have had better control of the car, but it wasn't my fault."

You sighed, "I jut wanna stay here for a bit."

"Y/n, please, forgive me-"

"I do, I just...", you sigh and squat on Kian's grave, "I just want him back."

You sat there. Staring at his name that had been engraved into this stone. You trace the lines of his name with your finger and begin to cry.

"Y/n-"

"I'm fine. I promise. I just want some time alone.", you beg.

Jc and Dom look at each other, "Well, I wanna go get some cake-"

"Yeah I do too.", JC agreed.

"Go.", you say bluntly.

"I'm gonna leave my car here, with you. Hoping to see you later tonight.", Dom says, putting the keys beside your leg.

"You sure?", Jc whispered.

Dom nods and says, "I hope you do what Kian would have wanted-"

"Stop saying that!", you say, as you turned to him. "You can't say he wanted anything for me because he's-"

"He's gone! I know! I was there! But trust me, y/n, blaming won't bring him back-"

You began pushing him back and Dom tried grabbing your hands and JC interfered, "GUYS!" You both stop as Dom holds your wrists from throwing any further swings. "Here?! Right in front our best friend's grave?" You took your arms back, "Trust me, I would have wanted it to be me than him, but I can't do that. That car accident was a mistake, the dude that hit them was intoxicated!"

"But Dom could have-"

"No, don't 'but dom could have'! I'm pretty sure Dom would have wanted it to be him than Kian too!", you pout at JC's point until he continues, "We all would have died if we knew it would save Kian. Dom did everything he could that night, for god sakes, he tried performing SPR on the guy as he laid there before he even noticed the gl-"
"Stop!", you screamed, covering your ears.

You couldn't remember that night. All the light, everyone surrounding your lifeless boyfriend, blood coming out of his mouth and as a piece of glass was being pulled from being lodged into his throat. The night Kian passed away was the night he wanted to propose.

But of course. Things never went the way they were planned.

"Please, come with us and celebrate Kian's birthday with his friends and family. People who loved him-"

"I don't know," you sigh.

"Please?", Dom asked, with tears coming down.

You took a second to stare at Dom.

You hugged him. Tight.

"I'm sorry.", you breathed out. "I didn't-"

"No," he said wrapping his arms around you, "just come."