The Billionaires Security

Chapter seventeen

Taigh's PoV

Disappointment. Confusion. Hurt. These are the emotions that filter between their faces. I don't understand why though, I know they are only asking me to join them out of pity. I know they are amazing men and I'm just not good enough for them. "Can I ask why at least" Tom asks and it looks like Lor won't be talking anytime soon, in fact he looks like someone just kicked his puppy. Could they be serious about this? No, I'm doing it again, letting my heart rule my emotions, am I such a desperate fool that I really want to throw caution to the wind and say yes. I don't look at him as I answer "I have my reasons" and leave it at that.

"Oh you do, do you. Well go on enlighten us Taigh. Tell us" he almost demands. I try to get out of his arms but he just tightens his grip holding me still. "Taigh, why?" Lor barely whispers and it catches my heart. He sounds and looks so upset that I stop moving and decide to tell the truth cause when he hears it he'll realise I'm right and they'll take the offer back.

"I truly appreciate all you've done and are continuing to do for me. I get that you both think that it'll make me feel better if you take me on as a partner. It won't. It'll only make it worse. I'll fall so bad for you both and then when you realise the pity has worn off and you have enough of me it'll kill me inside and I'll be forever destroyed without you in my life. Yes it's no secret that I basically love you both but if it comes down to it you will always choose each other over a stupid boy like me. You radiate love toward each other when you are together and I don't want a life where the men I love, love each other more than they love me. Thank you for trying but no I can't lose you too" I say and after a few minutes silence Lorcan simply leaves the room slamming the door shut on his way.

"You really think that badly of us, of yourself Taigh. Jeeze this is worse than I thought. Are you so far gone that you can't see it. Didn't you see the love we feel for you every time we sat by your bed, held your hand, worried, fussed over you, fought for you. What about the touches and kisses are you blind to those. To think you think two strong men like us would every treat anyone that way for any other reason than love is ridiculous. Taigh we are serious and now you've just thrown it back in our faces. We are not trying to pity you we genuinely care and if you can't see that then I feel sorry for you and for what could be" he takes a breath and sighs before continuing.

"We wanted to help you gain that confidence you seem to be lacking but I don't even think you want that help. You say you love us, if that's true you need to get your head out of the sand and come to the realisation that we are not going anywhere. So it's up to you, in or out pup. Now this is not me choosing anyone over anyone else but you need time to think and I need to check on Lor. He left because he was super excited to get us together but I made him wait to ask you so you wouldn't be pressured, he must be hurt and confused. Please think about all I've said, think about our behaviour and let us know what you want. If it's still no, that's fine but have a better reason than we pity you please" all the while I'm staring at him and my stomach is churning.

"Oh and one more thing-" he says before taking my face in his hands and kissing me. Sweet lord it's like heaven and I can't pull away his tongue enters my mouth and I follow his lead. All too soon he pulls away and lifts me off his lap. "Just one more thing to consider babe" he winks as he leaves the room. Fuck. How am I meant to think straight after that. I lie down and stare at the ceiling for a while as the kiss replays in my mind. This time though I don't feel the crippling guilt that I did over the bathroom incident. Am I willing to go into another couples relationship. I mean, I know I love them but to think they feel anything for me is hard to wrap my head around. I don't understand why these sex gods would want me but it seems like they do.

I pinch myself to see if this is real before I realise there is no way in heaven or hell I could dream a kiss as hot as that one and that stops me on my tracks. If they are being serious then I get to have those kisses and oh fuck, I get to kiss Lorcan Wallace like that too. I don't want that to be the only reason I consider this, I mean kisses are one thing, I don't even want to think about sex cause if I do I'll be out the door in two seconds flat. I need to be serious about this, think, that's what he said so I do.

I think back on all the times they've shown me that they care, like Tom said touches etc and every night I dreamt in my love filled brain that it meant something now I realise it actually did. It wasn't a hopeless fantasy in a love sick mind it was true love and tenderness and I couldn't see it like the idiot I am. But what if they leave me or what if I screw up then I'd be devastated without them. There I go again thinking about the end rather than the journey to get there. Someone cares after two horrible years I have someone no I have two people who want me and if I give up on that now it'd be a mistake, a very big one. I have to live life now, no more hiding.

I go and find them, just as I reach the kitchen I can hear them talking "-decision Lor. We can't force our love on him. He needs to be a man and make his own choices, if we push too hard we might lose him completely" Tom says . "I know but how the fuck do we continue like this, I don't know how I went from blocking out all feelings for stupid reasons to knowing you and Taigh are my world. Yes I'm a jokester but when I know what I want I'm one hundred present sure of it. It feels like he came into our lives and flipped a switch in me. I suddenly knew I loved you just like I know he's the missing part of us. We will go on together if he leaves us and I'm sorry if I'm upsetting you talking like this. I don't mean that we were lacking-" he gets interrupted by Tom. "Shh, love I know exactly what you mean ok. Let's just reheat the lunch and give him time, yeah. I love you" and then they kiss.

Me leaving them! Are they insane. I know I shouldn't have ease dropped but I'm glad I did. I was really quite this time so I don't think they knew I was here. I flush with embarrassment when I think back on the fact I was caught last time. Thinking time over I walk straight into the kitchen, gathering all the courage I can I do something I've been fantasising about for a long time, I walk straight up to Lor and kiss him right on the lips. Well Tom fulfilled my other fantasy today why not complete the set.