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Chapter 36 - four walls

"Damn girl, you never told me you were trying out shot put." I joked climbing in. 

I froze when a saw a figure in the corner of the room, she was hugging herself while lying down on the carpeted floor, her brunette hair pooling around her head. Marks of blacks and blues tainted her smooth legs. I don't know what happened or why she was in an anxiety attack. But in the next moment, I was next to her. 

"Tay-"

Her bloodshot eyes stared back before she stood up abruptly, her hands flew to her hair.

"Ground yourself." I said calmly. 

Slowly, she bent down and kicked off her peach flats. I watched as her toes curled into the carpeted floor feeling the ground before she breathed a deep sigh. My eyes darted around the room. In the same minute, I was in front of her with an orange. I peeled it slightly so some of the sweet smelling flesh could be shown. 

"Here," I said showing her the orange first. She hesitated. 

With my right hand, I closed my fingers around her cold ones, her skin surrounding her knuckles were cracked and dry. Warmth spread through my palm as she allowed her hand to follow mine closing around the orange.

With each inhale, her breathing stabilised. Senses. The Five Senses. 

Smell,  Check.

I ran to the wall next to the door, allowing my hands to slide around frantically finding the light switch. Tay looked around as they flickered on. Her eyes widened as they darted around the room as if it was the first time she was looking at it. They narrowed as her breathing evened, her fingers still fidgeting with one another.

Sight, Check.

Frantically, I pulled out my phone, quickly tapping on my trusty green Spotify app. The bluetooth connecting to her speakers automatically. As I played the song that calmed her down the most, Four Walls by Broods. She slowly tilted her head towards me, her eyes are no longer frantic, her hands by her sides. 

Hearing, Check. 

Taylor's POV 

As the soft lyrics seethed through the speakers, the only thing my eyes were focused on were his eyes. He probably found the song in my playlist, or he noticed it was the song I listened to the most these days. Little did he know, the only reason I listen to it is him. A small smile crept to my lips as I realised he was trying to do the most common method of helping anxiety. He did his research. 

And I'm trying hard to make you love me

But I don't wanna try too hard

Instinctively, I stepped back slightly. What really calmed me down wasn't the orange or the lights, or anything else for that matter it was him. And how was I to depend on him if one day he may be gone and all I have is my constantly frantic self that can't be cured? 

Those four walls now are the only place that I can breathe out

And those four walls now are home

He is home. 

"Taste" he murmured. 

My eyes followed his soft lips as they moved. He paced towards the door, planning to go to the kitchen when my hand grabbed his wrist. 

"Skip to the last one." my boldness came without notice. 

"Last one's touch." he said softly.

In one swift motion, his arms were around my waist as I breathed in the scent of his shampoo. I dug my face in the crook of his neck, the edge of his blue henley shirt collaring my neck. The warmth of his body is radiating, eliminating any coldness from the room, and from me.