Missing you (Book One)

Chapter 41 (R) ; Dear No One

I'm not sure how many chapters should be in this story? Right now I have about 150 chapters planned! I know crazy right? Were not even half way there yet but.. I think 150 is good. I came up with a conclusion !!! Some of you will hate me some of you will love me♥ Or all around just flat out love me like there is no tomorrow! Anyway.. some of you might get pissed off~ I'm sorry.. anyway here is the story.

I wish I listened to myself.  I mean, like really ? I thought I was making the right choice in everything I did.. turns out I was wrong once again. 

I needed to stop playing with my emotions and Jay's. It was only hurting us.. I never wanted to hurt anyone. I just wanted to move far away. Get away from everything Val and Jay, The drama that always followed behind them.

I needed a break and they couldn't respect that, well Jay atleast.I wanted a relationship that I was really commited too. Not a one night stand or a week of fun, A real relationship not based on fight 24/7 and loving and carinf for each other.

If we have a problem we fix it, not fight. That's how I want it too be that's how it should be, I knew what I had to do. I looked at the ground feeling a bubble of hope fly into my chest, I was really going to do it.. and I wasn't going to say no anymore.

I go to the bathroom and take A quick shower, brushing my teeth and combing my hair. I let out a sigh and pick up my phone, I dial Jay's number quickly. After two ring's her answers "Z, hey.. what's up?" He ask's.

I can feel my heart beating loud in my chest, "come over" I say quickly. "What?" he questions? "come over I .-" "you what?" He says I can feel my heart beating so hard.. "I need you" I say feeling a big relief come through me.

"Got it" he says hanging up.

What did I do ? I look at the time 1:34 pm I look at the clock as the time passes by.. waiting for Jay's arrival. Finally I hear a knock at the door, a quick impenitent one and I walk over to it. As soon as I open the door Jay's arms are around me and he is shutting the door.

His lips find mine In a heated kiss, he is gripping my butt, and running his hand's up and down my back. "You called" He moans picking me up and bringing me into the bedroom.

"Yeah" I say as I feel this tounge slip into my mouth. He pulls my sweat's off and shirt. Leaving me in my bra and underwear, He yank's his pant's off fumbling with his belt. He yank's his shirt off and can I say .. he eight pack was pretty hot.

He climb's on top of me licking my neck earning a moan from me. He pulls of my panties and braw... I pull of his boxers feeling a smirk on my face----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Wake up hun" I voice says beside me, I let out a groan and feel around until my hand rests on a warm arm. "Wake up love" Jay says beside me "No.." I say feeling my body ache.. wow .. we must of a warm blush covers my face.

"you're adorable" he mummers next to my ear, I put my hand over his mouth smiling lightly. He kisses my lips softly and intertwines his fingers with mine.

I feel horror bubble up quickly.. and realization settles upon me, He didn't use a condom. My heart is hurting .. but I don't the guts too tell him. "what's wrong" He questions looking at me "I-You-" then he get;s it.

"I'm such a idiot!" He yells looking at me "No, it's okay" I say sitting up quickly feeling around and finding my sweats and slipping them on along with my shirt. He pulls his boxers on and walks into the living room feeling my heart go crazy.

How could I be so careless?

Then Val comes into my mind, I felt quilt bubble up and crush that hope. Even though .. we wern't together.. It still feels like I cheated on him.

Jay walks over to me and kisses me softly. "We will figure it out okay?" I nod not trusting my voice. "If you are pregnant.. I'm willing to help" He says putting his head into my hair and breathing in.

I feel tears flow down my cheek... i hope and pray that I'm not pregnant.. I'm not ready.. or prepared to give up dance for this.

I feel his eyes on me and I smile.."Okay I trust you" I whisper even thoe it seems like it's a lie<|3