Adventures Of The Warriors And The Dead

Chapter 33 You

His words are true.

It just hurts, everything hurts.

It feels as if there's nothing good left in the world anymore.

Smaug wraps me in his arms and holds me while I openly cry.

He is the only spark of hope.

~~~

A day passes, and another.

Everyone is picking up the pieces and trying to make a better life. The Lakemen have hope, but not much, the dwarves are glad to have their home back but sad for their grievous losses.

The heavily burdened task of planning funerals for the dead arises.

~~~

Allie

~~~

It is quiet in the healing tent, it always is.

At least it is silent until Natalie strolls in with Smaug behind her.

"Balin may I see Alex's contract?" Natalie inquires in a steady voice. The older dwarf is sitting by Thorin's bed side and speaking in the dwarvish sign language with him. Balin turns to her and nods solemnly. Reaching into his bag he produces the rolled up contract and hands it to her.

"Her funeral arrangements read 'throw my body into an abyss after setting it on fire'," Natalie reads in a soft voice. A tear slips down her cheek and she lets out a shuddering breath. "Seems like Alex."

"Read the elvish," Grace says flatly. She hasn't spoken much since Alex died.

"The elvish says 'if I really die I'd like for a traditional elvish funeral and burial. I know Grace and Natalie would want to visit my grave. But to remain awesome I'd like my headstone to read 'Alex Blackheart the most badass assasin in Middle Earth'," Natalie murmurs and looks up. "It rings true to her spirit. I am unsure if she should be laid to rest in Greenwood, she should be with Kili."

"And Kili with her but elves are not meant to be buried in stone," I say. "Other arrangements must be made, something Kili and Alex can both have."

"A tomb of glass and stone will be made on the border of Greenwood and Erebor," a cold voice declares. We all turn to see Thranduil standing in the entrance. His face is somber and broken. His son is dead. "There my assassin and her soulmate can rest."

"Fili should stay there as well, he should be with his brother," Thorin adds. There are tears in his eyes, his nephews are dead.

"Legolas will stay by his mother," Thranduil states. "Jacob will also have a place in the Greenwood sanctuary."

"Bofur can rest in the Erebor tombs," Bofur grumbles in westron. Without his axe he can speak the universal tongue.

"I will make arrangements for the memorial to be built," Thranduil states and exits briskly.

Everyone goes quiet once again, it's unbearable being in this tent. Swiftly I stand and rush out, I need air.

Once outside I break into a run and flee from Dale.

~~~

In the valley blood still soaks the ground and I swear I can hear sounds from the battle.

"How could this the Valor's plan, how?"

My question goes unanswered.

Falling to my knees, tears falling down my face once again, I let out a loud sob.

"What a mess," I mutter.

In the midst of my crying I stop to catch my breath. When my sobs no longer sound loudly I hear another set of tears.

Wiping my eyes, I stand up and look for the owner of the wails.

Across the battlefield stands a hobbit and a dwarf. The hobbit's long yellow hair and dress made of autumn leaves is untouched by blood or stain. Her skin doesn't have a scratch and there is no tear on her gown.

The dwarf beside her is adorned with silver armor that lacks any dents. His hands have no callouses and the sword on his belt has clearly never been used.

The pair holds to each other and openly cries over the blood stained ground.

"How did we allow this to happen?" the hobbit murmurs. "How have our children been led so astray?"

"I know not my dear Yavanna," the dwarf mutters.

It is Yavanna and Mahal, they've come to mourn the losses.

"Could you have done something? Could you have saved my friends? Could you have saved me?"

Yavanna and Mahal look up and meet my gaze. They are not surprised by my sudden appearance.

"Why did this happen? WHY?!" I scream. "So many of your children died! The Durin Sons are dead! The last person that Thranduil had is dead! Alex Blackheart was felled by a weak orc!"

Yavanna and Mahal stand silent and allow me to scream and wail.

"You are our gods! How could you let this happen!?"

"Allison, even we do not get to choose who lives and who dies," Yavanna murmurs. "But we are sorry."

Their faces speak volumes but I cannot believe that this was the fault of me or any of my friends.

"Is this my fault? Did this happen because I failed to stop the dragon? Because I failed to accept my role as angel? Because I couldn't make Thorin love me more?"

Yavanna and Mahal are silent and the heart breaking realization washes over me.

"It is then."

"Alli-"

"Do not speak! If this is my fault then some blame must fall on you too! You chose a broken girl to be a savior! All those years ago I killed myself for a reason, but you brought me back! Again and again you forced me to live! I just wanted to die! Why me Yavanna!? Why me Mahal!? Why me Aule?! Why me Manwei?! WHY ME?!"

Sobs choke my cries and I fall to my knees.

"I was supposed to die all those years ago when I stabbed myself in the neck, I was supposed to die when Daren recarved me, I was supposed to die when he threw me off that balcony! I was supposed to die!"

I stop to take a deep breath and look back up at my gods.

"Why did you keep bringing me back?"

"Because you are the angel, because no one else has as much empathy as you, because no one else feels as much as you, because no one else is you."