Blurred Memories

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE: FLUSTERED

I open my eyes and look around. I am still in Grayson's jeep, but he isn't here. The jeep is parked on the side of a hill that is going downward which seems to be leading into a forest. I see Ethan sitting.

I get out of the car and close the door behind me. My legs are sore for some reason but I do not let that stop me. I walk to behind Ethan. He turns and looks at me, then turns back around. I sit down beside him and look down the hill.

"Ethan,"

"No," he says quietly as if he knew what I was going to ask.

"Please," I say grabbing his hand. I look at his face, calm and collected.

"Johanna I told you already that I am not going to tell you where-"

"I don't care Ethan!" I say in a slight yell. "You have to tell me or, or else."

"Or else what? I know Grayson won't be able to sense me much longer. You two will be lost in no time with no direction where to go."

"Why won't you help us?"

"I am!"

"No you're not!"

I let go of his hands and drift to my side. He looks at me with anger which fades away quickly. I know he doesn't like fighting.

"Johanna please," he sounds broken which gives me more reason to save him.

"I sorry, but I can't give you what you want Ethan." I get up and look down at him.

"Well, I am not going to give you what you want," he says confidently.

"Yes you will," I say with a new idea in my mind.

"And how will you do that," he says thinking that he will win.

I whip out my claws from my right hand and wrap my fingers around my neck.

"You wouldn't," he says a little frightened at what I could do to myself. "You would never hurt myself."

"I thought the same about you," I say to him with a straight face. "Tell me where to go."

"I can't Johanna you don't understand!"

"What don't I understand?"

"I can't tell you-"

I take my claws and run them down my left arm. My arm starts to tingle with pain and blood starts to dip down.

"You're a werewolf, you will heal. This isn't even real life," Ethan says finding a loop hole in my plan.

Another idea has come to my mind. If he cares for me, he will feel bad if I were to breakdown.. right? I sit down roughly six feet away from him and start to cry.

"Fake crying... not going to work."

"Don't talk to me ever again. This is what you want," I say looking at him in the eyes with tears streaming down my face. "You won, I hope you feel good about yourself letting your brother live on without you. He knows he has the power to save you and now you are telling him he can't use it? How he... how he would feel."

Fake tears turn into real ones.

"I need you," I say to Ethan. "I need you back." Memories start to fill my mind. I place both my hands on the side of my head and try to concentrate on Ethan, but so many things are filling my mind.

In Grade 4 Ethan, Grayson, and I went to the carnival with Wesley and he bought us candy apples and cotton candy.

When we were 6, Grayson told me that Ethan liked me.

When I was 12 I asked Wesley about my parents and he told me never to question it ever again.

When I was 8 Ethan told Wesley that he would marry me. Wes thought it was cute and laughed. I thought it was funny too.

On the first day of grade 10 Ethan asked me out on a date. I said yes.

One say in grade 9 Ethan got in a fight with a kid named Kyle. Ethan doesn't like hurting other people. I stepped in and punched Kyle in the face. Grayson stood beside me and told me that Ethan would be alright. I don't like seeing the twins hurt.

When I was 13 I went bike riding with Ethan and Grayson and after we got ice cream.

Grade 11 was hard for Wesley. He was running out of money and was rarely home.

"Johanna!" Ethan shouts. "What is happening?!"

Silence. After all the chaos that just filled my head, silence came right after. I left my hands slip away from the sides of my face. My face is wet from my tears and my nose has trails of blood.

"Johanna talk to me," Ethan says placing his hand on my shoulder. I flinch back.

"Don't touch me!" I start to shake. I look a my hands and my legs.

"Hanna,"

"I am never going to see you again," I say almost in a whisper. "That's what you want, that's what will make you happy then I am okay with that."

"It's not like that," he says even more broken now.

"I don't want to hear anything about how you want to save us! Look at me! This is what your brother is going through also! You aren't saving us... but I still respect you."

Ethan looks at me with tears forming in his eyes. I move closer to him.

"I still love you, and I will always love you Ethan."

I hug him tightly. I let go after 5 seconds and start to make my way back to the Jeep.

"Wait," Ethan says which stops me from making it to the Jeep.

"I love you too. I always did."