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Shawn..  I made pasta for dinner, do you want some?

- no dad I'm not hungry

Shawn.. You need to eat something

Dad I said I'm not hungry.

- Do you want me to take you to your favorite restaurant?

-Dad.. Too much memories. The last we went-the last time we went, Aaliyah was with us.

Shawn started crying and tried his best to stop.

- Gosh, it's the first time I say her name since- Since the accident. 

- Shawn you can't hide from the world. You have to live your life. Your sister wouldn't want you to get depressed you know? I love you Shawn.

- Love you too dad.

Manuel took his son in his arms. Then he got up and walked to Shawn's room door. He turned back and said

well if you wanna eat, there's pasta downstairs.

-Thanks

Shawn got up and walked out of his room. He was going to take a shower but he walked beside his sister room and couldn't resist to enter. He opened the door. Clothes were still on the floor. The bed wasn't done. Almost like she never left..

He took a look and saw that her phone was still on her bed. He took it in his hand and noticed she had a lot of messages. Her friends texted her to say goodbye and people on Facebook posted pictures of her. Shawn couldn't open the phone, he didn't know the password.

He put her phone were it was. He looked at pictures on her wall, pictures with her friends. There was a lot of pictures of him and Aaliyah. Shawn couldn't resist crying because he realized how much time he missed being with her. He felt bad.Then he took a look at her desk. A book was on it. It was written "diary" on it.

Shawn took it and opened it on a random page. Then he thought "She would actually kill me if she knew I was reading her diary" Shawn actually laugh at this thought. Then looked back at the diary.

14 September 2016
It's been a while since I wrote anything here. I just need to say something but I don't think anyone can fully understand. I remember when I was younger, I would pass my whole day fighting with Shawn or begging him to leave me alone. And now, I would actually do anything to see him everyday, to tell him when I have a good grade, to text him and know that he'll answer in a minute. But it'll never be the same. He have been taken away from me and I can't do anything about it. I just miss my big brother so much.. I feel like I'm selfish because I know it means a lot to him and I'm extremely proud of him. I can't wait to see him again..

"She never saw me again.." Shawn thought.. He cried reading it. It was hard for him because he knew he wasn't there for her. He couldn't. He missed so much time with her. He missed the important moments of her life and felt terrible for it. Now she's gone and he can't tell her... That she means a lot to him.

Shawn sat on her bed and stayed there for awhile. Looking at her room was hard for him but in a way, it was helping him heal from this big nightmare..that he'll never wake up from. But somehow he kept thinking "she never saw me again"

It didn't feel real, none of this felt like it. SOmehow he had a strange feeling that some part of truth was missing but why?

...

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