RAISING SUMMER ✔

27. To Close For Comfort

Song: Be Still By The Fray

The sea breeze comforted me as we walked along the shoreline.

"I'm in complete shock." I announced to Luke as he walked beside me.

"Of what?" He asked.

"You how did you know how to do that? My gosh that was nothing short of miracle,  where did you, how did you?" I questioned the events of the last couple of minutes.

"My mom forced me to go to dance classes with her all the time when I was a kid." He confessed.

"Wow there is so much I don't know about you Luke." I admitted. "Thank you." 

"For what?"

"For everything, when we were kids, even now with Summer and Kelly, I never thought about it but you help me out a lot even when your not physically helping me, its nice to know your there. I don't think I could have ever done this without you." I smiled weakly as the breeze pushed my hair in my face.

"Of course Jane."

"Why do you do it?" I asked.

"Do what?"

"Put up with me even though you know you can live a carefree life without responsibilities?"

"Jane you're my sister's best friend and for some reason, maybe because you are one of the only people I have left, but I cant bring myself to stay away from you Janey." He took a deep breath. " You have this weird type of control over me, when we were kids I just though it was a silly adolescent crush but I don't know anymore, maybe I'm just crazy." He continued to walk along the shore.

"Wait what?" I asked maybe it was just me, I did have too much to drink and the victory from tearing down an it girl may have gotten to me.

"What?" Luke stopped and asked.

"You had a crush on me when we were kids?" I interrogated him.

"I didn't say that."  He looked at me flushed with embarasment. He walked away urgently with

"No way you liar!" I shouted and chased after him.

"So wait why didn't you ever say anything?" I asked.

"I'm not talking about this anymore." He declared before I stood in front of him expectantly.

"Do you still?" I asked.

"Still what?" He played dumb.

"Still like me?"

"No are you kidding me, your my sisters best friend and that would be ridiculous." He pushed me out of the way and continued to walk along the shore.

"Please tell me the truth!" I stopped on as the waves collided with my feet, he stopped ahead of me and seemed to stare at the ground.

"I need to know Luke!" I called to him.

"Seriously Jane are you that paranoid, do you need to know everything?" He asked cruelly.

"If you must know yes, I do need to know everything." I argued.

"You are so unbelievable." He scoffed.

"Why can't you just say it!" I yelled after him.

"I'm not saying it!" He yelled.

"Luke!" People passing to enjoy our argument which soon became entertainment.

"FINE! I  can't stay away from you because I love you Jane, I have ever since I meet you, no matter how annoying, and irritating you may be, no matter how much I hate you or try to I love you all that much and more!" He shouted angrily pushing off the emotions he kept inside.

Luke stared at the  crowd that formed around as the crowd dispersed embarrassingly.

"Are you happy now." Luke dropped his bottle the beach and walked away. 

Luke had never yelled at me, there was no denying that in some way I crossed the line this time, whether the damage I had done was reparable or not was hard to tell early on. Guilt washed over me in waves as I sat down on the shoreline and attempted to sort out the feelings. How did I miss it the years of apparent feeling Luke felt towards me. I wanted to feel the same I wanted to love him, maybe I did? But the past trauma had affected more than I had lead on. What if the same tragedy occurred with Luke and I. Watching someone else I loved being ripped away from me again was a risk, a risk that I was not willing to take again.

A couple of hours later I went back up to our old room, Luke was no where to be found, his luggage was gone and I was all alone. Luke had the key to the knew room so going up their was not an option. I assumed Luke wasn't sleeping in the room tonight since there weren't a whole lot of reasons for his stuff to go missing and the key to our new room. I slide off my dress, cleaned off my makeup and threw old baggy tee shirt. I laid in bed staring at the ceiling, and recounted the countless mistakes I had made tonight and every night before then. I assured myself that letting Luke go wasn't making a mistake but was a choice that would protect us both and spare us the pain in the future.