RAISING SUMMER ✔

SUMMER?

I stood beside Rachel as she pushed for the last time. Her face was bright strawberry red, sweat beads rested on her forehead and tears rolled down her cheeks. She held my hand in a crippling death-like grip. It felt as though my bones in my hands were breaking piece by piece every second that went by. I felt like I was in more pain than her but I knew deep down that my pain was not even close in comparison.

"There she is." The doctor said.

"She?" I gasped.

"It's a girl." The doctor confirmed.

"I WON!" I shouted. "You owe me a hundred bucks!" I whispered in Rachel's ear.

"Would you like to cut the umbilical cord?" The doctor asked.

"Me?" I gestured to myself the doctor looked at me. I glanced over to Rachel as she gave an encouraging nod. I watched the little infant cry in bewilderment. The doctor handed me the medical shears as I cut the cord connecting the baby and Rachel. They wrapped the child up and placed her in Rachel's arms. Tears of joy rolled down Rachel's cheek and onto to blanket the infant was swaddled in. The child's cries instantly stopped when she was placed with Rachel. Rachel stroked her tiny little head of hair gently with the tips of her fingers. She looked at the baby in awe and happiness.

"Awe she is so cute!" I gasped.

"I guess I have to go return that baby boy onesie I got just in case." I smiled.

"You mean the one you stole?" Rachel laughed as the doctor and nurses gave me a suspicious look.

"Ha, ha she's kidding." I lied.

"Summer." She whispered.

"Summer?" I repeated.

"Summer Jane Barrett." She repeated without looking away from the eyes of her child.

"Summer Jane Barrett." I repeated again.

"That's her name." Rachel confirmed I beamed at the name, she had named her little girl after me. I knew we meant a lot to each other but I never imagined the thought of her naming one of her kids after me. The doctors took the baby from Rachel's arms to clean her up. They placed a name tag on the crib where the baby would sleep during their stay at the hospital. After they were finished they brought her back over to Rachel.

"May I, hold her?" She grinned and let the doctors place Summer in my arms. She had little light brown locks that rested on top of her head.  That would explain Rachel's heartburn she had been complaining about for the last nine months. Her eyes were pools of blue-gray liquid. Her tiny little lips were thin and blush pink to match her cheeks. She looked exactly like Rachel. Her little fingers curled around the pinky of my free hand. Her tiny little legs rested beside each other and her toes wiggled slowly and gently from time to time. She was much smaller than the baby dolls Rachel and I use to play with when we were young and more fragile too.

"Awe you love your Auntie Jane don't you?" I smiled in awe.

A beeping sound in the distance caused Summer to begin to cry. I looked at Rachel in confusion, the doctors began to surround her.

"Rachel?" I called out to her. Her head was tilted to the left side of the bed. Her eyes were closed peacefully.

"Rachel?" I called out again. There was no response. The beeping was coming from her heart monitor. The nurse took Summer out of my arms. "What's going on?"

"Ma'am we're going to have to ask you to leave!" One of the nurses asked.

"No! What's going on?" I was so confused as they took a screaming Summer from my arms "Rachel!" I yelled.

"Ma'am..."

"No! Why isn't she waking up." I cried.

"You need to go!" The nurse demanded.

"Rachel!" I called out as some of the male nurses dragged me out of the room by force. "Rachel!" I yelled again as they closed the door. Tears rolled down my cheeks and onto the hospital's tile floor. I placed my back along the hospital wall and slid down to the floor. I placed my head on my knees and let the tears fall onto my jeans.

I waited in that hallway in the same position for what seemed like an eternity. I watched hospital staff shuffling around to pass the time. With each approaching footstep, I hoped that someone would bring me news of Rachel and Summer. Each footstep passed me quickly and quietly they walked past me like I was nonexistent. I watched as a pair of shoes approached me and knelt beside me to sit down. It seemed almost impossible but it was true this was it this is the place I lost everyone I loved. Rachel was the only one I had left to lose.

"Jane?" A voice spoke beside me. I turned my head in response to the familiar nurse's voice. "Summer is healthy, she's doing fine." Martha said in a hopeful voice.

"Oh thank God! When can I see them?" I could breathe now.

"But, Rachel..." She hesitated and took a deep breath. "Rachel didn't make it." She said shakily.

"No." How? She was fine only moments ago. She was cracking jokes all day. This can't be real. My voice became uneasy. "No!" My lips trembled and the tears started to drain out of me. I broke down as Martha pulled me into the hug she had always given me when tragedy struck. I have lost everything already! Not Rachel too. I sobbed into Martha's hospital smelling scrubs.

"She told me to tell you that she loves you and..." Martha's voice became uneasy too.

"What?" I broke away.

"To take care of her little Summer."

I walked around dizzy and dazed this can't be real. Please have this be some sort of sick joke. This can't be happening. Why her. I couldn't process what I had just heard. Not again. Why does this always happen to me? Have I not given everything already. My tears burned as they hit my hot red cheeks. I have nothing left to give. I sniffled and gather myself I could see everyone eyeing me in the hospital hallways. I don't know where I was in the hospital at this point. I turned around in a circle. What do I do now?

I couldn't imagine any more loss in my life. I couldn't imagine not having the one person who strode by me through it all was gone. My eyes flittered to a cry that came from behind me. A baby's cry. The nursery, my grief had led me to the nursery. This was a small town not many babies born here. The nursery was empty besides three beds. I recognized that cry as I peered through the glass I recognized the sweet darling little girl I met only moments ago. The spitting image of her dear mother. She had only had minutes to meet her. Summer looked so alone her color as rosey as her blanket she was wrapped in. A baby? Me? What was I going to do? How was I going to? I had no experience with children. I didn't prepare for this.

My hand raised to the cool glass as I examined the small baby in her cradle. She's not alone. She never will be. I won't let that happen.