Guilty Little Secret (Septiplier fanfiction)

Stuck- 19

Mark's Pov.

Jack still hasn't woken up yet. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried. It's been 3 days. Now its Saturday. We were supposed to have been home already. Him in Ireland, me in LA. But we've had to keep him in the hospital stabilized.

I haven't gotten more than 2 hours of sleep a day. I'm going to be awake when he wakes up. I'll be there for him. I'm not leaving his side.

Lots of the fans have sent emails and comments saying they hope we all are doing okay and are praying for Jack. I'm grateful for the fact that they care so much. If we didn't have all of their support I don't think any of us would make it out of this.

Felix is taking the most blame. He keeps saying its his fault that Jack is in this position. Its not his fault but he keeps insisting that it is. He doesn't come out of his recording room, only for food. Marzia is getting increasingly worried about him. It seems like all of us are falling apart.

I've been uploading Jack's pre-recorded videos every day at the correct times as well as my own. But since he hasn't recorded more than just the weeks prepared I've been thinking about what I'm gonna do for tomorrows videos. For both of us actually. I didn't have any more pre-recorded videos and I'm not about to go home and pretend to be happy. Cause I'm not. I'm devastated.

I keep trying to keep my mind off the fact that Jack is hurt. To do that I keep busy with responding to twitter comments.(More than usual) I'm responding to youtube comments, I've been on tumbler some as well. But every post it seems I can relate back to Jack. I can see his situation in twitter comments, and poems I come across. I went on Wattpad a few times, all the books I read.... All of them. Jack is always the one that dies. Be it a Septiplier fic, a Jack x Reader, even in some Mark x Readers. JACK ALWAYS DIES.

And it makes me feel like I'm gonna re-live the ending of all those books... over and over again. It makes me feel like he has no hope of living.

I don't know what to do.

The others don't know what to do.

The fans try to comfort us but its just making it worse. Knowing that if he does go.... we are letting down all these people. We can't do anything. We're powerless... and we can't help it.

Somewhere along the way I fell asleep. I had my head rested on the side of the bed, Jack's hand in mine. I heard the door open and I shot up immediately. I looked over and saw Felix.

"Hey." He said weakly. I smiled slightly at him and got up. He looked like he was gonna cry.

"Hey buddy." I said and hugged him. He hugged back and sniffled a bit.

"He's still here." Felix said his voice breaking a small bit. I nodded grimly and took my seat back on the chair next to Jack. Felix sat on the opposite side of me.

"It's my fault... He's still here." He said and bowed his head.

"Felix, it's not your fault. It was just an accident that lead to a worse situation. Jack will be fine. He always is." I said trying to brighten his mood a bit.

"Yeah, says the one that cries every night because he doesn't know for sure." Felix mumbled. I cringed, willing myself not to break down in more tears of frustration.

"Felix he'll be fine." I said softly. Felix nodded.

I'm sorry if I'm coming off as bitter. It's just... If I hadn't stepped up to the guy at the bar none of this would have happened." He said and held his face in his hands.

"Yeah but if you didn't step up to that guy, Marzia would've gotten hurt. You did what you had to do to protect your family. Honestly we should be pressing charges against that man." I said chuckling a bit at the end. He gave a slight laugh as well.

"I'll go get the papers." He joked. I smiled. Having someone to talk to in a time like this was nice. Wade and Bob have talked to me, but they didn't know Jack like I did. Or like Felix did. Jack knows Felix really well, vise versa. I know Jack really well, vise versa. It just feels like we can comment on a different level.

I don't know, it's probably just me.

"Do you need anything to eat? I'm gonna go get some fries." Felix said standing up. I shook my head. I wasn't in the mood to eat. I wasn't in the mood to do anything.

"Nah man. I'm good. Thanks though." I said, sitting back in my chair. Felix nodded and smiled slightly at me.

"Okay. If you need anything call me." He said and waved then walked out of the room leaving me alone again.

For the millionth time that day I looked at Jack. Still looking peaceful, yet busy and panicked. It didn't make sense.

Why?

Why is it that every time something good happens to me, something bad always has to happen just to balance it out?

"Is this what you wanted? Are you trying to make my life a living hell? Take my best friend away from me, and now your gonna take my other best friend away!?" I yelled at the ceiling. I never really believed that God was real, (I have no idea if this is true, I'm going off of the slight bit of information I've gather... Which isn't a lot) but if there really was someone up there controlling who dies and lives.. Who gets a miracle and who doesn't, if there is someone up there listening and watching, then they aren't doing a good job about it.

"I was just beginning to be okay since Dan!" I yelled and threw the chair to one side. It slid and banged against the wall. I breathed heavily and balled my fists in anger.

"You can't do this to me again." I said and felt the years spill again. My eyes were raw from the rubbing. My head just felt worse every minute. I felt like shit. I didn't want to do anything.

"Please don't do this again." I pleaded to no one and collapsed to the ground sitting on my knees, holding key face in my hands.

"What am I gonna do?"