Secret Love Story (narry) (boyxboy)

Chapter 11

"Harry I'm not willing to change my sexuality for you. And since when have you been attracted to the same sex?" Niall bit back, tugging his hand from Harry's, to tag at the hair that would need to get dyed again soon.

"I think everyone knows that I'm pansexual Niall. I never shouted it on the rooftops but I think I made it pretty obvious. "And even though was looking for anything to divert the conversation from the dangerous path it was taking, he couldn't argue with that. I mean even a blind person could see that Harry had the kind of heart to fall in love with anyone regardless of their gender.

"Harry we were just using each other. We were both frustrated sexual and it just happened." Niall denied nervously. He avoided Harry's eyes completely and stepped back from Harry's intimate proximity.

"What about the kiss right now?" Were we just using each other again? Because, Niall, I never used you. I want you. I like you more than just a friend, I just said it right now but you keep on avoiding it."

Harry's eyes narrowed. "I never used you. Not ever, and especially not to scratch an itch. You are important to me Niall. And what you are saying now makes me feel like you used me. Like you were planning on using me all along. Were you using me, Niall?" Harry asked the lazy rumble that was once his voice disapproving in the wake of what Niall was implying. With his heart sinking slowly to his feet, he begged Niall with his eyes not to confirm what he was thinking.

"Yes, Harry I was. You were there and I needed sex at the time. And the kiss that we shared right now was just residue of what happened that night."

"I don't believe that" Harry drawled.

"Well believe it! Because that's what happened. You are so gullible Harry and it was so easy to make you believe that I actually had feelings for you. You want to see the rainbows and fairies in the world but the reality of the matter is that that's not how the real world is set up. People use each other! Be it they are friends, be it they are enemies! The simple fact is I wanted sex and you were willing to offer it at that moment."

"Wow ... I always thought that I meant more than that to you, Niall." His voice had lost feeling and was flat. His eyes had gone a dark green and his large hands were balled up at his sides.

"What did you think was going to happen, Harry? That I was going to jump into your arms and have you carry me into the sunset?"

"I didn't know. But I do know I didn't expect you to take advantage of me! You had to know of my motive for coming here, Niall! I love your family, but they are your family, not mine. I haven't seen mine in over 5 years and some months now, I wouldn't waste a precious month to just come and see yours! You knew ever since I kissed you last year what I how I felt for you, but you still went on ahead and slept with me because you were sexually frustrated!" Harry cried. After so many years of rearing in his tear ducts, he felt like he was going to bawl right there. He felt angry because he had been used and betrayed by the last person he would ever imagine using him.

"Harry..." Niall started after realizing how much Harry was hurting, but Harry cut him with an angry jab in his chest." No fuck you, Niall! Fuck you! I can take this from anyone else but not from you. I trusted you with my feelings because you always told me that you would never hurt me! If you didn't feel the same why didn't you just come clean so that we could try to salvage our friendship? Liam and Lou, I can deal with them being callous when it comes to my feelings but they are not as close as I am to you. YOU KNOW! YOU KNOW how much things like this hurt me! You have been there when people used me and saw how it affected me but you still went ahead and used me for your own selfish need."

"Harry..." Niall tried again, remorse was written all over this face, but Harry didn't care at that moment. He felt like his world was crumbling. His breathing had become ragged and short. He could feel a headache coming on but nothing beat the pain in his chest. It felt like someone had shot him then went on to plunge a knife into the puncture wound.

The fact that he could notice how beautiful Niall was in the darkened weather was like having the knife being twisted inside him.

The fact that he could still feel the lingering longing of wanting to be with Niall, of being with Niall, of his feelings for Niall was like having salt poured all over that wound.

"No Fuck off Niall. I am going back home." Harry spit at Niall. He escaped Niall's hands, emerging from the tree that made up their private cocoon. He made sure to message Ibrahim to pick him up before he went back into the house to face the SWAT team of Horan's that wanted a fair share of time with him. He wasn't in the mood though. He wanted to burn Niall's stupid house down and dance on the ashes naked but he couldn't. That wasn't him. As much as he hated Niall at that moment, he would never do anything to hurt him. That just wasn't him.

So he manoeuvred around the house tactfully, avoiding any Horan's that might know him and want a chat. But even with is ninja tactics he couldn't avoid the true ninja. When he was about to reach the door he was met by Greg.

"Hey, Harry! Are you going back? I thought you might want to say hi to Denise and play with Theo a little bit. He can't stop yapping about you. I bet you money, one of these days of us is going to change your last name on your birth certificate from styles to Horan" Greg made conversation, oblivious to the pained look Harry had on his countenance when he talked about changing his name to Horan. He had fantasized, hoped even, that things with Niall would progress that far.

"I'm sorry but the weather is looking bad and I have to go before the roads get bad. Say bye to Denise and Theo for me." Harry said hastily.

"But you didn't even say Hi to Denise." Greg tried to joke but Harry was in too much turmoil to pretend that he found the joke funny.

"Then tell her I said Hi and bye. I have to go, my driver is here." Harry said in relief when he heard Ibrahim honking outside.

"Okay then, but here is some G'amma's pot pie. She saw you and has been meaning to hunt you down and feed you but she got distracted by trying to exorcise Deo and putting some clothes on Claire." Greg said with an easy smile and a conjuring of pie behind his back like the ninja he was. "See you, Harry."

With that Greg shoved his hands into his pockets and went in the general direction of the kitchen, probably to go and hunt down his wife.

Harry made his escape and was transported back to his hotel. All the way he had his eyes clouded and tried not to think of Niall or the gaping hole he felt in his heart.