Everything That Could Have Been

Together at last

Together at last

                Big day today, once the act is done, I’m free.

                I finally pulled a shitty piece of costume together. It isn’t much but it’s pretty good considering it was a last minute thing.

            Everyone will be there. Dedrick and Cheyenne will rue the day they have ever met. They will remember who I am and everything they have done to me, will be etched in their hearts till the day they die.

                The day passed quickly and I spent it tidying up the house, I cleared out a lot of old things. I threw out every photo of dad in Mom’s room. Space will be good for her, it’s time to let go.

            The sun is starting to set, it’s almost night. Everyone else will awaken and I will be seen for the last time. I want you to know how much it hurts.

                I didn’t think I will ever spend Halloween with someone else, other than Audrey, but the thing is, she’s gone now. She was the past, and this is the present, and no matter how much I want to turn back the clock, I can’t.

            I hate everyone so much. Everything has been laid out clearly to me. I will crash their party. I will make their blood go cold. I want them to cry. I want my life back. I’ll find them alone, and I will make my appearance. The star has arrived and they will be the first to see her.

                I’ve always been alone, but I wasn’t lonely, I had friends, just that I didn’t open my eyes to see them. Life had been a dark tunnel, I got scared of the dark so I closed my eyes, and I didn’t dare to open them. Turns out, I have already walked out of the tunnel. If you don’t open your eyes, you will never know how bright your future is. If you keep hugging yourself, no one else can touch you. If you keep crying you can never stop to laugh. If you keep frowning, you won’t have the chance to smile.

            I had so much ahead of me. But it’s all gone and I have nothing now. I have no one now. This wasn’t supposed to happen. I’m at the park, the tacky Halloween lights are out and the apple bobbing station is open. There is a candy apple push-cart and a lady giving out free ghost marshmallows.

                I started making my way to Saffron’s house. I don’t have a car, so I’ll have to walk. Walking isn’t so bad. She lives a few houses down, will probably take me 20 minutes but it’s Halloween and the whole town is dressed up for the occasion. Has Halloween always been this cheerful? All these years I’ve been staying in my house? This is what I’ve been missing? I’m wearing the stupid shirt and jeans I picked out yesterday but I splattered some dark red acrylic paint hoping it will pass of as blood. I also got a fake prosthetic gash across my cheek and I smeared some fake blood around my face and arms, a messy job but well, it’s been a long time.

            I might miss this town, this atmosphere. But I have to finish what I started. The party is starting soon, I’ll give them an hour to have fun before I finally crash it. Meanwhile, I’ll take a walk around the park, before going to the town area. Just because I’m dead it doesn’t mean I still hate having fun.

                It’s getting colder and the ground is scattered with sunset-colored leaves. I picked up one and placed it in my pocket. A lady offered me a free ghost marshmallow, I took it and gave her the leaf, she said it was beautiful and she placed it in her apron pocket. The marshmallow was soft and it’s crispy on the outside but soft and warm on the inside, she decorated it with chocolate fudge to make it look like a ghost. There are kids in costumes running up and down the street, cars are parked in the garages and the road is empty, everyone is home to answer the door for trick-or-treaters.