Everything That Could Have Been

Kaelan

Kaelan

Audrey: Hey guyz! So I was thinkin cuz the assignment is like 3 weeks long, we should get to know each other and stuff if that’s fine w you guyz! How does tomorrow aft sch sound? xoxo Audrey

It’s so Audrey to get to know people, to socialize with strangers. But why does she even need to socialize? She’s as popular as ever. She has the looks, the smile, damn it, she’s as charming as ever and the charisma, everything I’m not. I bit my lip, damn how does Dedrick not want this girl? How can he smooch some superficial blonde bitch without feeling guilty? I bit a little harder, drawing blood. It’s good for her to make more friends; maybe she can even be friends with Saffron over the fake Cheyenne. Saffron is pretty dazy and stoned most of the time but she’s actually really caring. Once, she walked pass an injured cat, she looked left and right and made sure no one was watching and when she thought the coast was clear, she picked up the cat and ran off. I don’t know why she hides this caring side of hers. I also saw her taking out one of the daisies on her straw-hat once and placing it on a dead pigeon carcass. Maybe she’s afraid people exploit that caring side of hers so she pretends she doesn’t know what’s going on. Or perhaps because she knows that people shouldn’t be too caring because it hurts to care too much or perhaps she had once cared for someone who didn’t care about her and they said “forget those who forget you” but that person was her world so she let go of everything and stopped caring.

Damn it what was I thinking? I’m bad at reading people. Ok back to replying Audrey. I quickly tapped out a reply.

Kaelan: Haha great, I’ll bring some food! See you soon!

Did I sound too desperate? Too enthusiastic? Feelings suck, I suck, I’m so afraid I make a fool out of myself that I regret and rethink every move I make. If you’ve ever been in love, or ever crushed on someone, you’d try your best to look perfect, to cover up your flaws. You don’t want to look bad in front of him or her. In my frustration I knocked into someone, their books falling to the ground.

“WHOA! Didn’t see you there princey! Seemz like ya’ didn’t see me eitha!” Saffron exclaimed. She bent down to pick up her books. Feeling bad for knocking her over in my moment of distress, I got down to help her.

“Hah, um sorry, I was spacing out,” that’s when I reached for the same book she was reaching for. And that’s when I saw it. I’m pretty sure Saffron caught me staring because she retracted her hand, took her books and said goodbye. Leaving me a little spaced out, still crouching on the ground.

The bracelets and the charms, Saffron cuts herself.