The First Man I Loved

Chapter 5

I was scrolling through the webpage he was on, which was a very, very bad idea. All these ideas, he was putting into his own head. I let out a deep sigh and turned off the computer. Before I could stand the whole way up, I heard a crash. My instincts sent me to the bathroom Vanoss was in. I nearly break open the door, and see the shower curtain on the ground and Vanoss in the corner of the shower on the ground. His eyes were all puffy and red, and it tore the fuck outta of me to see him like this. 

"Va-Evan? Are you okay?" I asked, starting to walk towards him. He only looked up at me. I tried ignoring the fact he was naked and wet, and I sat down beside him in the hot water. I didn't mind my clothing getting wet. 

"I-I can't believe I acted like that." He sobbed, laying his head on my shoulder, his wet, black hair against my hoodie. 

"Well, you lost someone you loved, how else are you supposed to act?"

"Not like a fucking lunatic." He cracked and looked up at me. 

"Evan, it's okay. We'll get this place cleaned up, and I'll take us somewhere to eat. I mean, if that's what you want." I rubbed his soft arm. He sniffled and a little smile went across his face. 

"I'd love that."

"Now, why don't you get dressed, while I start?" I said, and he looked down and noticed what he was missing. He looked back up at me and we met eye contact, both of our faces heating up. I stood up and grabbed his hand, lifting him up. He stood and was still looking at me. I bite the inside of my cheek as he grabs the clothes I picked out for him. 

I walk explore more of the house as he gets dressed. I walk into what seems to be the living room, still covered in trash. I sigh and walk into the kitchen, stepping over the smashed cans. I search the cabinets and finally find the trash bags. I take a few out and walk to the living room, and start picking up the garbage. A few minutes into the clean up, I hear music come on. I smirk as I realize what it is. I turn around to spot Evan near the stereo, his face bright red. 

"What?"

"Hayley Kiyoko?" 

"She... she speaks to me." He smiles. 

"I saw you as a heavy metal type."

"I like all kinds of music."

"Same here, except-"

"Country." We both said, and busted out laughing. 

"So, what song is this? I like it." 

"One Bad Night." He looked down at his fingers and then ran them through his damp hair. 

I listened to it, and it really did describe him. I mean, in this situation, it did. The beat, it made me feel something, something so, so good, and seeing Evan there slowly dancing made that feeling even better. 

He chuckled when he realized I started dancing along. I was shaking my booty. 

"My god, I'm so glad you're here." 

I felt something in my chest instantly warm up, and I felt my cheeks burn. I ignored the feeling and smiled. 

~Evan~ 

It was now 2:36 pm, and the house looked a lot better. 

"Wanna go on that walk now?" Delirious asked, and damn, did I mention he looked really, really cute, and hot; can he be both? On that website I was looking at, it told me just to let my feelings and thoughts go where ever, well, not so much the feelings part.

"Yeah! We can walk right into town!" I tried smiling, but something didn't feel right. Delirious opened the door and I walked through, thanking him.

"I didn't know you were so... polite." He chuckled, and that sounded even better in person than over a call.

"I can be both." I slightly smiled and put my hands in my dark gray jacket.

He was almost the total opposite of what I imagined him to be. I imagined all the scars people have "rumored" about; and I was looking for all the long hair, but instead it was a hot side shave style, and I loved it. Now, don't even get me started on the eyes, and the piercings.

"So, how is it, down in North Carolina?" I asked, looking at my maroon colored Converse.

"Well, it's still at most 70 degrees, but it's still chilly."

"Oh."

"Yeah." He huffed and continued walking, and as he moved, I'd smell his cologne.  I couldn't describe the smell though. It was like a vanilla, but lavender, but then a bit of pine. I shook my head. I seriously cannot be falling for my damn best friend; hell I don't even know if I'm gay yet.

"Evan?"

"Wu-what?"

"Look at the decorations." His pale hand pointed towards one of the café windows. I followed it, and saw a little Christmas tree with blue, red, purple, and white lights.

"Woah."

"It's our colors." He chuckled, and I joined.

"Yeah, and together they make purple." I slipped and turned to him. He was looking at me, and I could see his bright red cheeks, which stood out even more with the dark blue beanie the threw on before we left. To stop the awkwardness I started laughing, and he slowly joined along.

"So, we can come back here for dinner or something." He smiled and we continued walking. Every once and a while our hands would brush, and we weren't even wearing gloves. I wonder why. People were everywhere; kids looking at the gifts through windows; adults smiling, or kissing; and some people just sitting on benches and enjoying the snow.

We were walking around, and I realized, I might have Thanksgiving with him, I hope he wouldn't mind. My thoughts were interrupted as I was bumped into. I fell to the cold ground as I saw a strong hand reach out to me. It wasn't as pale as Delirium's hand though. It was a bit darker. I looked up to meet the man I saw at the gym. The one that made me fall... twice.