The First Man I Loved

Chapter 2

I slightly open my eyes, the sun barely showing through the dark red curtains. I feel Binx snoring against my hip. I slowly slip out of the covers and onto the floor. Unfortunately, Binx hissed anyway and stretched off the bed. I just kinda scoffed and made my way down to the kitchen. I pass the calendar on the fridge. Today is Wednesday. On Wednesday's I usually go to the gym. I open the fridge door to grab an ice coffee from a little while ago. I put more ice in it and set it on the counter. I run upstairs and change quick and grab my gym bag. I throw a lid on the coffee and make my way to the car. The soft purr sends tingles down my legs. I chuckle, and we're off to the gym. 

I push through the double doors and I feel a sudden rush of anxiety. I feel like everyone's eyes are on me. Not just everyone... maybe just the... men? I feel my cheeks flush as I make eye contact with a man running on the treadmill. He slightly smiles, and I feel my stomach clench. I instantly turn away and go to the locker room. I find an empty locker, and quickly change. I grab my phone and earbuds and walk out of the locker room. I find an empty treadmill, but it's right beside the man I made eye contact with. Why am I freaking about this? I shake my head and put my earbuds in, hitting random shuffle and of course the song is totally unnecessary, it feels like I'm in an MTV show. Free State by Superhumanoids. It seems like I'm stuck with it, so I step onto the treadmill. I slip and look at the man again. I notice the sweat running down his neck, veins sticking out. I shake my head and keep going, but then he flips his head, so his sorta long, blond hair moves from his eyes. His eyes, a very dark hazel. I bite my lips, the song goes perfectly with it too. I move my eyes down to his arms, and I have to bite my tongue and pinch myself. I meet the man's gaze one last time, and he sends me a bright smile. I nearly choke, I smile back, but then feel the world in slow motion as I fall into his eyes. I feel us getting closer, and the rest of our surroundings dimming out. I watch him close his eyes, and I put my arms around his very built body, a little more built than mine. I feel something tense up in my gut and under my shorts. I then close my eyes and then we move in, closer and closer... Nothing happens, and the world goes into regular speed again, and I slip off my treadmill. I land on my butt and hear a little chuckle. I meet his gaze again, but he's standing in front of me. He extends his arm, and I hesitantly grab his hand. He pulls me up, and the warmth of his hand sets me off. I almost want to intertwine our fingers. No... I grab my phone and earbuds and sprint to the locker room. 

The song is finally over, and I'm changed. I walk out of the gym, without meeting that guy's gaze. I nearly run to my car, and speed home. 

I open the door to be greeted by Binx. I sigh and throw my stuff on the couch. I walk to the kitchen and grab a strawberry alcohol beverage. I nearly chug it down, as I go into deep thought. Why the hell did I feel all those things? I'm not gay, right? I'm pretty sure I'm not. I grab another drink, and chug it down. I hear a little vibration; my phone! I run to my gym bag and grab it out of the pocket. I see the little picture of my creator. I chuckle and hit the green telephone. 

"Hello?"

"Evan."

"Mom! How are you?"

"Just peachy... Evan we need to talk." 

"Yeah, what's up Mom?"

"I don't know how to tell you this sweetie. It was even hard for me to figure out."

My attitude changed, I knew something was wrong. 

"Mom? What's wrong?" 

"Evan, darling your dad was in a terrible accident."

"Wh-what? Is he okay?"

"I don't know yet. The nurse hasn't come out yet. I just got the call from work, so I took off." 

"Do you what kind of accident?"

"They haven't told me. It could be a car accident, or a construction accident."

"Oh my..."

"Sweetie, would you mind coming over to the hospital?"

"Mom, of course."

"Drive safely." 

"Always." 

I hung up and ran to my car, immediately starting it and pulling out of the driveway. I have to get there as soon as I can. I push my foot a little more on the pedal, as more of a tear starts at the edge of my eye. I look at myself in the rear-view mirror. I swear to god Dad, if you fucking die on me. I pushed even harder on the pedal. I drove the next 30 minutes in silence, and thoughts. 

I rushed up the stairs, no time for a damn elevator. I get up the flights of stairs and barge into the waiting room. I stand in the door way, and my view is terrible. I watch my mom collapse into a chair, holding her head, and a whole box of tissues. The nurse beside her is holding a clipboard and rubbing my mom's arm. I look at the clipboard and see the word "deceased" in red pen. I feel the world spin, once again. I fall to my knees, and I can't help the huge sobbing noises coming out of my mouth. I see the blurry nurse walk over to me. She bends over and hugs me, but I do nothing. She removes her arms and walks away, her head down. I stay there, on the floor, my tears dripping. The tears my dad used to stop.