Colour Me In (On Hiatus)

Twenty-seven

TWENTY-SEVEN || Camila.

Our afternoon, up until late in the evening, was awkward. It was as simple as that. He talked to my family like nothing was wrong, but when he smiled, it never reached his eyes and his eyes barely took the time to look at me. I was angry that our conversation from earlier had taken the turn that it did. I was angry that he was letting it get to him, especially since it was only our first whole day in New Orleans. And I was angry with myself for being as honest as I had been. I mean, we'd always told each other the truth, and I loved that about our relationship...but I believed in keeping some things private, and this afternoon's argument was proof that privacy was key, at least some semblance of it. He and my mom were in the middle of a conversation about the weather in California, so I excused myself and walked into the kitchen.

"Hi honey..." Lucy greeted me as she poured herself a cup of coffee.

"Hi." I smiled, weakly.

"Everything okay?" She asked, knowing more than she would ever let on.

"I don't even know..." I said, sighing and leaning against the counter.

"What happened?"

"We had an argument."

"How big of an argument?"

"A future sized argument."

"Uh oh..."

"Yeah." I felt sad immediately upon bringing it up. "And then Damien was brought into it, and he's just...he's acting differently."

"What was said?"

"Just that...I dunno, we're at different points in our lives right now and he just became the CEO...he just moved to Los Angeles and here I am, telling him that I won't move across the country because I'm selfish..."

"Hey, uh-uh...don't do that. You are completely entitled to choosing where you want to be. You have every right to say no to California, Mil."

"I know, but that doesn't mean I'm not selfish."

"At this point in your life, you're allowed to be selfish!"

"I want a family with him, Lucy. We can't do that if I'm here and he's there."

"No, you can't, but whatever you want, Camila, you have to take it for yourself. I'm saying this from experience." I nodded. "Remember three years ago? When I up and moved to Atlanta because Robbie thought it was a good idea? Do you remember the outcome of that brilliant idea?" I laughed, thinking back to the dark time in my sister's life.

"It didn't last two months."

"Mhm...eight freaking weeks and I was packing up and coming home."

"Julien isn't...he'd never cheat on me."

"I know, I know. I'm not saying he would...but honey, that doesn't mean that you'd be happy. And if you're not happy, your relationship is bound to fail, as grim as that may be."

"I know, but I love him, Lucy. I really, really love him, and I want us to work out, but..."

"But what?"

"I keep trying to picture a future with him and I'm having the hardest time seeing it."

"Do you have any idea why?"

"His career is so important to him, he's worked tirelessly for this and he's achieved it. He deserves to be happy, and I wouldn't dream of taking that from him."

"So, right now...his job is taking precedence."

"Yeah. But I'm not mad at him for that...I'm proud of everything he's achieved and I just want him to be happy—"