Colour Me In (On Hiatus)

Twelve

TWELVE || Damien.

"Thank you...both of you for staying today." The sky had grown dark when Julien and I headed towards her front door.

"You sure you don't want me to stay?" I stood back while he asked her this.

"I'm exhausted, I just really want to go to bed. I'll see you tomorrow though." Her smile was clearly forced, but I admired her for trying. "I don't know what I would've done if the two of you hadn't been here, so...yeah. I just really appreciate it." I stepped around my brother and squeezed her hands.

"We're just a phone call away." She squeezed back before wrapping her arms around my shoulders.

"I know. Thank you, Damien."

"Anytime, okay?" She let go and nodded.

"Hey," Julien began, just before the door closed, "I love you so much."

"I love you too." It's your brother right now, he came first, and she loves him...but eventually, she's going to start seeing things that she didn't see before. She's going to feel more powerfully and she's going to desire more than just love. Amelia's words brought a sense of relief gushing through me, but a quiet voice from the smarter end of my brain made me question whether she was right or not. Julien and I walked down the stairs in silence, but once we stepped onto the busy sidewalk, I started up a conversation.

"So, the City of Lost Angels, huh?"

"I'd be the CEO, Damien. I can't pass that up."

"I figured as much."

"There was a part of me that thought she might come with me."

"What part was that?"

"The selfish part. I thought...I don't know. I thought loving me would be enough."

"Have you met your girlfriend?" He chuckled and shoved his hands in pockets.

"Yeah, it was pretty stupid of me...I just...I love her so much, Damien." I felt a pang of guilt as he said this to me. "It's like...my life before I met her was great. I was content, but then I met her and everything has changed. I feel happier than I've ever been and not loving her - not knowing her seems like such a foreign concept."

"She's definitely special."

"I know the two of you have gotten close, but I think it's good for you. You've changed 
Damien. And I feel like it's brought us closer, you and me. Which, to be honest, I'm really grateful for. It's been a long time since I've actually wanted to spend time with you."

"Thanks, brother."

"She cares about you, I know she does. She sees something in you that I used to see."

"And what would that be?"

"You're worth loving." It had been a while since I'd had a conversation like this with him. "She reminded me of that."

"I've missed you too, Julien." I smirked, reading in between the lines.

"And thank you, by the way, for today. She listened to you, I'm not sure that she would've backed down if I had told her she wasn't going."

"Someone had to be the bad guy."

"Like I said, thank you."

"Anytime, little brother."

"I don't want to leave her." His confession threw me off, slightly.

"Then don't...I don't see why you'd even be considering it."

"I've been working towards this my entire career, since I was twenty years old, and I did it. I made it."

"If it were me, I wouldn't leave her - I know I couldn't."

"We're different. You could care less about work. You like where you are. I want to do the very best that I can. I want to excel in doing what I love. No offense, but you'd throw everything away if you really loved someone."

"She's not just any girl, Julien. It's Mila, she's..." I felt my mind begin to drift off. "She's Mila."

"So, if you were in my shoes..."

"I'd choose her in a heartbeat. No question."

"Right."

"I don't know how you couldn't. I do not understand how this is even a decision to be made."

"I think I need a drink." I sighed, feeling utterly frustrated.

"I'm right behind you." We walked side by side into the nearest bar and I was sure that one drink would not suffice.