Mockingjay: Peeta's POV

Chapter Twenty-one

Chapter Twenty-one

The room is deathly silent. Only the sounds of breathing can be heard. Until Jackson speaks up. "Don't be ridiculous."

"I just murdered a member of our squad!" I shout. What don't they understand? I don't deserve to be here.

"You pushed him off you. You couldn't have known he would trigger the net at that exact spot," Finnick says.

"Who cares? He's dead, isn't he" I say tears streaming down my dirt covered face. "I didn't know. I've never seen myself like that before. Katniss is right. I'm the monster. I'm the mutt. I'm the one Snow has turned into a weapon!"

"It's not your fault, Peeta," Finnick says soothingly.

"You can't take me with you. It's only a matter of time before I kill someone else," I say looking around at everyone's face. Why are they sticking up for me? I'm a murder. I've killed people before today. In the arena. I'm a mutt. I've killed innocent people. "Maybe you think it's kinder to just dump me somewhere. Let me take my chances. But that's the same thing as handing me over to the Capitol. Do you think you'd be doing me a favour by sending me back to Snow?"

"I'll kill you before that happens," Gale says. "I promise."

Can I trust him? Sooner or later I'm going to end up back into the Capitol's claws. I shake my head. "It's no good. What if you're not there to do it? I want one of those poison pills like the rest of you have."

Everyone remains silent for a few moments. No doubt contemplating my request. Should they give me a pill or not?

Katniss's eyes snap in my direction. "It's not about you. We're on a mission. And you're necessary to it." Her eyes turn to the rest of the group. "Think we might find some food here?"

All we have is a medical kit and camera. Half of the group stays to keep an eye out for Snow's broadcast. Code for watch Peeta. Less than thirty minutes later, the rest of the group returns with a multitude of canned goods and cookies.

"Isn't this illegal?" someone questions, referring to the food hoarding.

"On the contrary, in the Capitol you'd be considered stupid not to do it. Even before the Quarter Quell, people were starting to stock up on scarce supplies."

"While others went without," the same soldier as before says.

"Right. That's how it works here."

"Fortunately, or we wouldn't have dinner," Gale says trying to lighten the mood. "Everybody grab a can."

Some seem reluctant to grab anything. But do. I dig through the pile, coming across a can of lamb stew. A memory hits me hard. A memory about Katniss liking lamb stew.

I walk over to her, holding the can out. "Here."

She takes it cautiously, examining the can. "Thanks," she says, taking the off the top of the can and using it as a spoon. "It even has dried plums."

The silent affair for dinner is usual. Not much talking amongst the members of Thirteen. As a box of cream filled cookies is passed about a beeping begins. The television lights up with the seal of Panem, remaining there while the anthem plays. Then the images begin. Images of the dead, just like the dead tributes faces showed above the arena. They start with the four dead members of the camera crew, followed by Boggs, Gale, Finnick, myself, and Katniss. Boggs is the only one from Thirteen shown. The rest mean nothing to them. They didn't care whether they lived or died.

Then Snow appears. He is seated at his desk, a flag draped behind him. A fresh white rose in his jacket pocket. A congratulation to the Peacekeepers is issued for a wonderful job for getting rid of the Mockingjay. With Katniss' death a turning of tides will occur since the rebels have no one left to follow.