Mockingjay: Peeta's POV

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Sixteen

The door cautiously opens to reveal Haymitch. He has an almost wild expression in his face as if he hasn't been without alcohol in awhile or maybe he's just worried I'm going to do something to him. People here seem to worried I'll just sap and attack someone . . . again.

"You wanted to see me, boy," Haymitch's rough voice says.

"Yeah," I say, my voice hard.

"Got you under lock and key, don't they?" Haymitch says, gesturing to the restraints holding my arms in place on the bed.

"Yeah," I say, shifting my arms some on the bed.

"Well, what is it you wanted to see me about?" Haymitch asks, nervousness obvious in his voice.

"You lied to me," It was a statement and not a question. As Haymitch doesn't answer I continue, "Why didn't you tell me about the rebel's plan?"

"Peeta, I couldn't," Haymitch answers.

"You couldn't. Or you didn't want to?" I roll my eyes.

"I couldn't. And it's a good thing at that too," Haymitch says.

"Why is that now?" I say, anger in my voice. A good thing to lie?

"If I did tell you Snow would actually got information out of you," Haymitch says.

"What do you mean?" I demand.

"Well, he would have had something to use against you. Where we are and such," Haymitch says, searching for something more to say.

"So, the only reason you didn't tell me was because Snow wouldn't have had anything to use against me? And you purposely left me in the arena for the Capitol to take me?" I say, anger rising in my voice.

"No. Of Course we didn't. We just didn't get to you in time," Haymitch says.

I nod my head, taking in the information.

"Peeta, can you forgive me?" Haymitch asks, nervously.

"On one account. You tell me from now on," I request.

"Sure. Sure. I'll tell you from now on."

"Then, what's the plan now?" I ask.

"We're taking control of the Districts," Haymitch responds.

I nod and after a few minutes Haymitch turns toward the door.

"Haymitch, can you tell Katniss I want to see her. I think it's time I talk to her again."

"Yeah. I'll tell her," Haymitch says, exiting the room without another word.

~M:PPOV~

I sit with the restraints still on my arms, waiting for Katniss. If she is even going to show up. The door opens slowly, cautiously. Just like it did with Haymitch. My eyes lock on this mutt. She's not a mutt. She was used as by the Capitol just as I was. I have to keep repeating that to myself.

Katniss enters the room, crossing her arms over her chest. "Hey."

"Hey," I respond.

"Haymitch said you wanted to talk to me," Katniss says.

"Look at you, for starters," I say, looking her up and down. "You're not very big, are you? Or particularly pretty?"

"Well, you've looked better," she says, defensively.

I laugh. "And not even remotely nice. To say that to me after all I've been through."

"Yeah. We've all been through a lot. And you're the one who was known for being nice. Not me," she says, defensively again. "Look, I don't feel so well. Maybe I'll drop by tomorrow."

She reaches the door when I blurt out what I've wanted to since seeing the videos Plutarch has shown me. "Katniss. I remember about the bread."

She turns back to face me. "They showed you the tape of me talking about it."

"No. Is there a tape of you talking about it? Why didn't the Capitol use it against me?" I question.

"I made it the day you were rescued. So what do you remember?" she asks.

"You. In the rain," I say, softly. "Digging in our trash bins. Burning the bread. My mother hitting me. Taking the bread out for the pig but then giving it to you instead."

"That's it. That's what happened. The next day, after school, I wanted to thank you. But I didn't know how," Katniss says.

"We were outside at the end of the day. I tried to catch your eye. You looked away. And then . . . for some reason, I think you picked a dandelion."

Katniss nods.

"I must have loved you a lot," I continue on.

"You did," Katniss says, her voice catching. But she tries to cover it up by coughing.

"And did you love me?" I quietly question.

Her eyes fall to the floor. "Everyone says I did. Everyone says that's why Snow had you tortured. To break me."

"That's not an answer," I say, pressing for the answer I want to hear but don't want to admit to myself. "I don't know what to think when they show me some of the tapes. In that first arena, it looked like you tried to kill me with those tracker jackers."

"I was trying to kill all of you. You had me treed," Katniss responds.

I knew it. But I remain calm. Because if I don't the doctors are going to drug me. "Later, there's a lot of kissing. Didn't seem very genuine on your part. Did you like kissing me?"

"Sometimes. You know people are watching us now?" she says, trying to change the subject.

"I know," I say. I could feel unseen eyes on me for a while now. "What about Gale?"

"He's not a bad kisser either," Katniss says, shortly.

"And it was only with both of us? You kissing the other?" I ask.

"No. It wasn't okay with either of you. But I wasn't asking your permission."

I laugh. "Well, you're a piece of work, aren't you?"

She turns, exiting the room, hastily. Without a goodbye or another word. What is real and not? She didn't answer my questions really? But she walked out before I could ask. 

Edited