Mockingjay: Peeta's POV

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Seventeen

"I can really go out?" I ask the doctors as they unstrap me from the bed. I stretch my fingers out relishing in the release from my confinement.

"Yes. Of course with some guards you can eat lunch with some of your friends," the doctor says. "However, you will need to wear these." The doctor holds up a pair of shackle looking restraints.

So, I'm not quite trustworthy, yet. Go figure. I nod my head as the doctors tighten the wrist restraints. They tell me I can go with the guards to get some lunch. We all stay silent as we walk toward to what I guess is the cafeteria. Suddenly one of the guards speaks up.

"You'll have to ask if you can sit with anyone. If they don't feel comfortable with you around you can't sit there."

I nod my head in acknowledgement. I don't know anyone here except if they came from Twelve or I met them in the Capitol. I suppose these people could become uncomfortable around me after hearing about the Katniss incident. The cafeteria is buzzing with people carrying their trays to their seats. As I pass some people they quite down considerably. I'm sure almost everyone around here has heard about me. As I enter the line to get my food, everyone in front of me quiets down. They talk in hurried mutters. I ignore them all grabbing a tray and having the attendants put the food I'm allotted on my tray. Beef stew, potatoes, onions, and some bread. This is more than I've been getting in the hospital. I carefully balance the tray on my fingertips, awkwardly due to the wrist restraints. I see a table with Delly at it. I walk over seeing that Finnick, Annie, Johanna, Katniss and Gale are sitting their along with Delly. I awkwardly stand by the empty chair listening to the conversation.

Finnick is telling the group about a sea turtle that carried off his hat one time. Everyone in the group laughs and suddenly Katniss begins to start choking on some bread but she quickly recovers.

"Peeta!" Delly exclaims. "It's so nice to see you out . . . and about."

"What's with the fancy bracelets?" Johanna asks, turning her head to look at me.

"I'm not quite trustworthy yet. I can't even sit here without your permission," I say, nodding toward the guards.

"Sure he can sit here. We're old friends," Johanna says, patting the empty seat beside her. She turns back to the group at the table and continues talking. "Peeta and I had adjoining cells in the Capitol. We're very familiar with each other's screams."

I vaguely remember someone scream that sounded close but I always thought it was in my mind. I didn't actually think it was a real person.

Annie covers her ears like she is trying to block out the world around her.

"What? My head doctor says I'm not supposed to censor my thoughts. It's part of my therapy," Johanna says.

Finnick begins muttering things to Annie and she slowly removes her hands from her ears. A silence follows while I eat some of my food.

"Annie," Delly says, breaking the silence. "Did you know it was Peeta who decorated your wedding cake? Back home, his family ran the bakery and he did all the icing."

I was asked to ice a cake recently. The doctors thought it would be a good idea for me to do something familiar. It brought back old memories from before the arena. Good memories.

Annie leans forward in her chair. "Thank you, Peeta. It was beautiful."

"My pleasure, Annie, " I say, gently. It has been so long since anyone has said anything like that to me. I can't even remember the last time someone did.

"If we're going to fit in that walk, we better go," Finnick says, stacking both his and Annie's tray together so he can carry them in one hand. "Good seeing you, Peeta."

"You be nice to her, Finnick. Or I might try and take her away from you," I try and joke weakly.

"Oh, Peeta," Finnick says. "Don't make me sorry I restarted your heart."

After he says that he leaves leading Annie away with him. I turn to Delly as she begins speaking.

"He did save your life, Peeta. More than once."

"For her," I say nodding toward Katniss across the table.

"For the rebellion. Not for me. I don't owe him anything."

"Maybe not. But Mags is dead and you're still here. That should count for something," Katniss says.

"Yeah, a lot of things should count for something that don't seem to, Katniss. I've got some memories I can't make sense of, and I don't think the Capitol touched them. A lot of nights on the train, for instance," I say. I make a gesture with my spoon, connecting Gale and Katniss. "So, are you two officially a couple now, or are they still dragging out the star-crossed lover thing?"

"Still dragging," Johanna says.

My hands tighten into fists. Why do they still have to be dragging that out? It's not like she actually cared or something? My hands untighten.

"I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it myself," Gale says.

"What's that?" I ask.

"You," Gale responds.

What about me? "You'' have to be a little more specific."

"That they've replaced you with the evil-mutt version of yourself," Johanna says.

Gale turns looking at Katniss. "You done?"

She nods and rises from her seat leaving the room with Gale.

As soon as they are out of my sight, I lose it. I start mumbling to myself until Delly speaks up.

"Peeta, how can you treat her like that? She hasn't been anything but nice to you." Delly says, her voice going up an octave.

"Oh yes because trying to kill me is so nice," I say. "No, that's not what happened. That's what the Capitol wants you to think," I argue with myself. "I'm not an evil mutt version of myself. Katniss is the mutt here. No, she's not a mutt. She was used by the Capitol too." I continue arguing with myself.

I can feel everyone in the room's eyes on me. Watching me lose my sanity. The guards come up behind me. Grabbing me by each arm, they lead me from the room and back to the hospital.  

Edited