Paris • s.l

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The invigorating sound of my alarm clock woke me up from my restorative slumber. I frowned and lazily turned over and slammed my hand down on it.

I groaned as I lifted myself up. Suddenly, my mind went fuzzy. I tried remembering my dream last night, but the remnants of my dreams were being chased away by the realization that I'm awake, that everything was real. I managed to get up from my bed and make my way over to the closet. And then I remembered what happened last night, which made me even more grumpy.

I'm in Paris, without him.

Making myself some pancakes, I also made a matcha tea for me to enjoy and make my own self happy to start the day, somehow. And as I tried forgetting how I cried last night, I ate my breakfast slowly as I savored each bite. But my phone ringing, signalling me that it's already eight o'clock in the morning made me hurry in haste. "Hello?" I answered the phone.

"Where are you, Alex?" A rich polish accent voice boomed from the other line as I sighed. 

Not wanting to trigger my sister's anger, I quickly settled my phone over the lavatory while I stripped my clothes and turned the shower on. "I'm on my way, give me like fifteen minutes and I'll be there." I told her and my bathroom was filled by sister's voice, giving me lectures on how I should be more responsible, and be more ladylike. 

Why did I even agreed on this whole set up anyway? 

Well, I was doing fine. We were doing fine. Everything was fine but at one second, I was confused too though, I'll be a model for em cosmetics? The management must be crazy. My sister must be crazy. What can I do? She's THE Michelle Phan. I have no goddamn right to argue and contradict his choices and decisions. Yeah, that's it. That's why. She's holding my career, my job in his hands. It's the half of my life in risk. What can I do? I have no regrets though, I'm here with my sister anyway, except that we live separately, and that we're the only one who'll have and who'll be there for each other for our parents had already passed away. Patience, just patience because this is what I've always dreamed of too, as she guides me growing up and is currently teaching me how to be independent.

But I just wish that he was with me, too.

Snapping out of my thoughts, I heard a honk and I quickly stormed my way down to see the familiar car. "You're a minute late." I said a quick sorry and chuckled at my sister. 

Don't get everything wrong. My sister is a nice, well mannered, classy woman. She is just being like that because I know that she wants me to be the best, and that's her nickname while the middle would be perfectionist. She was the one who did everything just to raise me and her when we were in sorrow back then, a couple of years ago. I bet, if our parents were still alive, they'd be so proud of her. Especially my dad which happens to be a successfully aligned and business minded man. And with that, I'll always look up to my sister. 

She started telling me that I should get on with the photo shoot right away, and that no time should be wasted. I listened to her words, and looked out the window to see the beautiful Paris environment. And then I remembered Los Angeles, again. My friends, my dancing career, and Sean Charles Lew. I'm missing him again, and I bit my lip to stop myself from crying. 

Closing my eyes a bit, I sighed. "You'll be fine, Alex. You and Sean will be perfectly fine, stop overthinking." I whispered to myself.

The time went by pretty fast and luckily, my sister let me roam around Paris for a while as long as I'll be back home to my apartment before it was nine, my curfew. I chuckled at that, I'm eighteen but I still have a curfew. The cold breeze of Paris night air traveled its way and explored my body making me shiver, so I pulled my coat closer for I wanted to get some air and contemplate what would my life be. And then I accidentally shifted my eye on my wrist. It was a Pandora bracelet given to me by Sean when it was our anniversary, and our graduation day.

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