Refound Love (YTSTMB sequel)

Part sixteen

Chris P.O.V.

"Come on, you know that's not what I meant!" I yelled, exasperated. 

"Really?! Because it sounded like you were suggesting something just then!" He unfolded his arms and stormed out the room and I could tell I had hit a nerve.

"Pe-PJ!" I went after him but he slammed the bedroom door in my face before I had a chance to get to him. "Look - I'm sorry, okay?! I don't even know how I got to that idea! Please... I'm sorry!" I shouted through the door.

I heard nothing but a sigh on the other side and the creak of the mattress. I could imagine him now laying down on his back with his hands behind his head, staring up at the ceiling like he usually did when he needed to think. 

"Peej?" After the second time of no response, I pushed the handle of the door down and slowly opened it. He didn't give me any sign that it was okay for me to enter the room or shout at me to leave him alone, but I could tell I was unwelcome when he ignored me as if I wasn't there when I sat on the edge on bed anxiously. 

The awkwardness and silence that hung in the air was horrible. I looked down at my hands as they fiddled with a bracelet I always wore on my wrist that he had made me when we first got together as like a sign of our connection and less obvious sign that our hearts were taken. PJ had a matching one and even though people had noticed, they didn't know the meaning behind them so it was like our own little secret, and I joked that if we ever got married, we'd have gold bracelets instead of rings. 

"Why would you say something like that? Me? With him? After everything he put me through? No... No," I could feel him staring at me and I returned the contact, seeing that his eyes were glossy with tears. I had really hurt him and I knew I wouldn't ever forgive myself for this. 

"I'm sorry," I replied lamely, looking back down at the bracelet because seeing the damage I had caused had become too much for me to bear.

"Why though? I don't understand," his voice was quiet and soft. My face had been burning when he was staring at me but now it was beginning to cool so I could only assume he had looked back up to the ceiling. 

"I don't know," I said sheepishly. 

"You can't just accuse me of something when you have no proof! You think I'd cheat on you with Dan even when he's with Phil? That's just... wrong!" 

"You've been acting like you used to when you loved him, you can't blame me for being even just the slightest bit worried!" I exclaimed, biting my tongue in regret afterwards. 

"What's that supposed to mean?!" PJ sat up, forcing me to keep the eye contact this time as his pierced into mine. 

"You know what you did when you were just being selfish and only thinking of yourself and what you wanted! I'm worried you'll do it all again!"

"And it created a mess, I know." 

"And whose fault was that? And who had to pick up the pieces?"

"I don't have to hear this," he snapped and leapt out of the bed and left the room. I followed him, my suspicions and worry only growing.

"PJ, I can't go through that again! Please, I only just got you. Please, don't. I couldn't bear it," I could feel a little tear in my heart from just the mere thought of him going behind my back like that.

He turned around to face me and a pained expression with a tint of guilt and his hands reached out a little as if he was going to take mine into his, but at the last second they balled up into fists and his stare hardened. 

"See! You're just accusing me of things again! You can't just- I'm leaving. I'm going out," PJ snapped. I grabbed onto his arm to pull him back so he couldn't go, but he just shook me off. 

"Can I at least come-"

"No, you stay here. I want to be alone. I don't want to hear anymore." 

"Please be careful!" I called after him, before he slammed the front door shut. 

I crumpled to the floor and buried my face in my hands, wishing I had done more to stop him going out. I had heard of people getting into accidents when they were angry and weren't paying attention... 

No. I couldn't think like that. I knew he would be fine, but I couldn't help but think about where he could be going and only one place came to mind. 

Surely he wouldn't go to his... 

But I had my doubts and I hated myself for not trusting him but he hadn't given me much choice. Even still, I knew what he was like and could tell when he was lying. 

When I asked him straight out about Dan, I had picked up on how he put up a defensive guard and that added to my suspicions. I knew I couldn't be 100% sure on whether he had fallen back into loving Dan, but I was close to being certain of it. 

I hoped I was just reading it all wrong and being paranoid and I was making a big deal out of nothing, but a tiny voice at the back of my head told me I wasn't being completely unreasonable and that it was up to PJ to decide who he really loved.  

A/N: this was up later than I wanted it to be because I had to take off a couple days for planning. I'm going to start the next part tomorrow and upload it ASAP :)

if I don't upload before Christmas, Merry Christmas and I hope you all have very nice days ♥