The Bet That Broke Me ~ Book•1 ✔️ (this book is currently being rewritten)

The Bet That Broke Me Chapter Twenty Seven

. A/N this chapter contains themes of self harm. I will include a trigger warning before it begins and one when it ends, if you wish to skip that part scroll until you see "YOU CAN CONTINUE HERE."

Everyone dies. It was life. It was inevitable.

Although it was always meant to happen; most people never wanted it to. It was normal to fear death. To fear what was after death. Fear of the unknown. Fear of not being with loved ones. Unless they had already battled death, and lost. I guess you could associate many fears with death and of course all the things you could never experience again.

Never waking up to see the sun rise again. Never walking your dog. Never pouring your first cup of coffee in the morning as the sky changed from grey to blue. Never kissing your significant other goodbye as they left for work. Not being there when they came back home. Never blasting your favorite song as you danced horribly along. Normal things that people did every day.

And I feared none. I missed none.

I was apart of the small population who didn't fear death. Death to them, to me, was an end to a centuries long war. We had fought our battles and we either lost or gave up before we even had the chance to win. Because in our minds; this battle of life was too hard. We believed we would never win and that's why we lost. Because had no hope in ourselves.

I had lost.

I fought for as long as I could but when the opportunity presented itself; there was no way to turn it down. Finishing this war meant seeing my parents again. It meant peace. No more pain. No more hatred; from others and myself.

For a while I wasn't sure where my body had gone. There was nothing; not even darkness. It was just me. At least until nothing turned into a face. and a face into a person. My mother's wide eyes had drooped and her smile had sunken into a sorrowful frown. Any life that she once had was gone.

At first I thought death had done this to her. Until she spoke,

"Alison, how could you?"

And I realized that it was me.

Her voice held nothing but pain.

"You aren't supposed to be here. Not yet. I won't accept it." My eyes flooded with tears at the sight of my mother. My body flung towards hers with open arms.

"No, I won't allow you to get comfortable." Before I could throw myself into my mother's arms; she moved a couple steps back.

"Mom, hug me." My words broke her just as much as they did me. The last time my mother hugged me, I was just a child. And as much as I hated to admit it- I had forgotten how her hugs felt.

"No. You can't give up. You need to wake up now." I knew she wanted to hug me. I could see it as she gripped her sides, trying to occupy her burning hands.

I had already given up. "Mom, I'm dead." Hearing myself say the words finally made this situation feel real.

"No, Ali, you aren't. But you are dying and if you don't wake up now you will never get the chance to actually live." My mother pleaded with me, sobbing as she spoke. "Now is not your time. As much as I love you and how bad I miss you; you need to go back. There are people who love you just as much. And who will miss you so much that your absence will destroy them."

"I don't care, I just want to be with you and dad." Speaking of him, my father had not accompanied my mom. Although I really wished he had.

"Where is he?"

"He couldn't bare seeing you like this. He doesn't want you here right now. I don't want you here right now."

"Wake up Alison. Lily needs you. David needs you. Hailey needs you. Kelsey needs you. Life needs you." The image of my mother began to fade until all that was left was her voice.

"Aiden needs you."

"Wake up."

A rush of warm air swarmed my veins. I no longer felt cold and empty. It felt like my soul was shoved back into my body.

"Wake up Ali. God please wake up." I knew the voice by the first syllable spoken.

Before I could even take a breath my body had launched itself into panic as I came face to face with reality. I had not lost. My body had not given up.

I was alive.

I am alive.

"I'm alive." My eyes shot open as I screamed out.

"I was supposed to die!"

Aiden pushed himself off the side of my hospital bed in a state of shock. Not knowing how to handle my unstable state he just watched with tears and a clenched jaw as I lurched from my bed.

"I wanted to die."

I looked around for anything. Anything able to hurt me.

"Ali, please,"

"Get out of here!" Spit flew from my mouth as I screamed from the back of my throat. I hated him.

He flinched back and stumbled over the hospital chair stationed behind him. And behind him was a mirror hanging on the wall.

Trigger warning ⚠️
I stumbled towards him, unable to keep my balance. He reached for me to steady me and for a second I let him; just a second long enough for me to be able to reach the object behind him. Glass shattered against the cold tiled floor.

I pried Aiden's dirty hands off of my waist and let my body fall to the floor. I had a minute. A minute to reach a shard and a minute to bring it to my wrists. A minute for Aiden to scream for nurses and a minute for them to pull me back from anything that could cause harm. Before I was jerked up and back to my bed I had slid the jagged edge against my wrist just enough to draw blood.

YOU CAN CONTINUE HERE⚠️

Before I could do permanent damage; the glass was removed from my hand and my arms were restrained by my sides. I tried my best to fight against the men and women restraining me, but my efforts were meaningless. My throat became raw from screaming and my body sore from fighting them and previously sore from wrecking my car.

Once they had be back in my bed, a female nurse shoved a needle into my arm. Leaving the last thing I saw before falling back asleep was Aiden's destroyed look as he stumbled out the door.

•••••••••••••••

A/N
Hey guys! I just wanted to leave a little note at the end of this chapter to sort of explain a little better on why Alison is freaking out and going crazy. So basically she's having a mental breakdown/psychotic break. She had tried to end herself because she was severely depressed and suicidal and while sleeping she dreamt of her mother and had thought that she was dead during that; but really she was only asleep.

The whole thing was a figment of her imagination and subconsciously what she really wanted to hear and see being her mother. And when she wakes up and realized that she had never died she is upset and unstable.
And Aiden basically doesn't know how to process her state and that is why he hardly speaks because he doesn't know what words to use. He is consumed by guilt and it only gets worse from seeing her like this.