unlovable

part 29

[vanessa's pov]
it was so sweet of jordan to allow me inside, we talked for a long time.
it's almost 5AM and the sun will be coming up shortly. i decided to drive to another outlook on a big hill.
i climb on top of my jeep. jon bellion's "irobot" plays through my phone's speakers.
"grandma.. this is so hard." i talk out loud. no one else is here to hear me.
i stare at the faint orange in the distance.
the air is crisp & cold. oh, november.
next week is thanksgiving which is always a nightmare in my family. two days until the wedding cody wants me to go to.
i can see my breathe in the air as i take deep breathes, trying to calm myself down.
i feel a tear slip from my eye.
i cry all the time. way too much.
"i wish this was simple. i miss him so much, grandma. i miss all of you so much. you would have advice for me.. i know you would. i love you." i mumble, wiping the tear away.
sometimes it feels like the world doesn't want me to be happy, to be okay.
you bet your ass i am going to fight through it harder than hell, though.
the quiet sounds of jon bellion & the chilly morning engulfs me.
then, i hear car tires. a suburban mother on her morning jog? maybe a track star who's coming here to train?
i turn my head slightly to see a familiar black jeep pull up next to mine.
i turn my music down a little & stare straight ahead.
then, a car door slam. footsteps.
my car shifts a little.
he slides on the roof next to me, "baby, are you okay?"
i shake my head slowly.
he wraps his arms around my waist and holds me close. i rest my head on his shoulder.
"do you want to talk about it?" he asks.
i shake my head again.
"okay. it's okay, babe. i'm here." he whispers and kisses my head which is covered with the hood of my sweatshirt.
we sit quietly for a moment, looking over the neighbourhoods and trees.
"cody?" i ask.
"yes, beautiful?"
i take a deep breathe, "why do you love me?"
i feel him shift himself to look at me.
"what kind of question is that, vanessa? i love you because you're you. you're so completely you. you're real & you aren't afraid to be yourself. i appreciate every little thing about you. from the way you pout when you don't get your way, to the way you glare at me when i make a stupid joke. i wouldn't trade the moments we share for anything. you mean so much to me. i wake up every morning with a smile on my face because you're mine. i go to sleep every night happy because you're either by my side or in my dreams. i would do anything for you. i'm always here for you, please remember that." he says.
i feel the tears streaming down my face.
cody loves me, he really does. i've never heard him talk about anything more passionately.
"80's films" by jon bellion plays softly.
i don't know what to reply, so i decide on slamming my lips onto his.
he's surprised at first but then i feel him melt into it.
i disconnect for one second, breathless, "i love you, cody."
he smiles and kisses me again.
fuck the sunrise.

---
[caleb's pov]
janice walks next to me. we're in the woods. all you can see are the colours of the leaves.
it's pretty early, but i think it works out well. the air is better in the morning.
the ground is still fairly damp.
janice walks across a big branch that lays across the ground. i walk next to her as she keeps her hand on my shoulder to keep her balance.
she walks to the end, then swings around and clings onto me tightly.
then, i hear a camera shutter.
"that was perfect!" georgia yells.
janice breaks away from me, "really? is it instagram worthy?"
she runs to georgia and looks down at her phone's screen. i have a feeling this is gonna be a long day.

---
[vanessa's pov]
"can you not!?" i giggle, putting a hand over my face. cody holds his phone up, trying to take a picture of me.
"baby, you look great. please?" he whines.
i slightly move my hands from my face.
i smile big & he presses the shutter button.
"thank you." he smiles.
he shows me the photo & i actually don't look bad.
he sits across the table from me. we decided on having a mcdonald's date.
i never come here anymore & he knew i was craving it. i take a bite of my hashbrown & scroll through my snapchat feed.
most of my snapchat friends aren't even awake yet. losers. it's a sunday but i would have thought they would be up by now.
i roll my eyes and lock my phone.
"wanna see a movie tonight?" cody asks, taking a sip of iced coffee.
"ooh, depends. which movie?" i ask.
"miss peregrines home for peculiar children?" he suggests.
i almost choke on my food. i've been dying to see that movie.
"yes, please," i smile, "under one circumstance."
he raises an eyebrow, "and what would that be, baby?"
"you let me buy our tickets. you always do all of this for me & are always paying for everything. please let me pay this time." i beg.
"fine. i'm buying popcorn, though."
"ugh, you're so difficult." i groan.
he smirks and takes a bite out of a fry, "yeah but you love me, though."
he winks.
i roll my eyes, "yeah, i do."

---
[caleb's pov]
"i'm so excited!" georgia skips to the doors and holds them open for us.
janice catches up to her, "me too! this is going to be so good. i read the first book & it was amazing."
i walk past them and go up to the counter in the entrance.
"hi. three for miss peregrines home for peculiar children, please."
i slide my money on the counter.
of course, being the gentleman that i am, i pay.
i hear georgia & janice behind me, giggling loudly.
janice hugs me from behind, "aww, thanks babe!"
"of course." i smile, taking the change from the employee. he hands me 3 tickets and tells us what theatre we're in.
georgia & janice run ahead.
"good luck." the employee whispers.
i feel myself blush. i mentally thank him and catch up with the girls.

----
[vanessa's pov]
"thank you for paying." cody wraps his arm around my waist.
"you always pay, i should be thanking you, cutie." i giggle and kiss his cheek.
he takes his hand off my waist and grabs my hand instead. neither of us like popcorn & we just ate a little bit ago, so we decide on not getting anything.
my eyes scan over the counters.
then, i hear a laugh. a laugh that makes my heart stop. fuck.
this isn't happening.
"cody..." i mumble.
it's too late, though. seconds later.. they're next to us, walking down the same hallway we are.
"vanessa?" i hear him call.
i take a deep breathe and spin on my heel, "hi, caleb."

----
FOOKING LIT!!! lol probably not.

geez caleb & vanessa seem to run into each other everywhere lmao

vanessa can't take her hoodie off :(((
do you think cody will notice the bandage???

i'm dead inside(((((:

thank you for reading xo

- adrianna