The Once and Future King

Chapter 17

     I quickly wipe my eyes and pull myself together. I can vividly see the memory flashing through my head. The look of hurt and betrayal on his face. Please not again, please! I can't do this again...
     He's just looking at me silently, no emotion showing. I find it difficult to look at him in the eyes. I'm trying very hard not to completely break down, but my pulse continues to quicken and the memory just keeps playing over and over again. Finally, after what seemed like eternity, I get myself to calm down and just breathe. I realize as I look down at my hand that I'm shaking. I put my hand on my lap to hide it then wipe my eyes again and look down, still feeling ashamed.
"Can you prove it?" He questions.
"I can try." I find a nearby tree and focus on a single leaf. Then the leaf floats off of the tree over to us and stops in front of me. Then the leaf turns to flame and disappears. I look at Arthur's eyes but he is looking at where the leaf was.
"Why didn't you tell me?" He says emotionless. I look up at him and try to answer calmly.
"Be-because, I thought you wouldn't believe me. Or I thought you would think I lied to you, that I was tricking you. I didn't want to hurt you. Not again..." I mutter.
"Obviously I would have had to believe you, Merlin, you have proof. I just don't understand why you didn't trust me."
"I do trust you!" I respond, "I just couldn't tell you. It wasn't time yet. Arthur, please believe me. I wanted to tell you, I really did. I was just worried that if I did, you wouldn't understand."
"Like last time?"
"Wha- what?" I stutter, confused.
"Yes Merlin, I remember. I've remembered for a while. But I didn't believe it at first. I didn't want to. But more and more evidence kept coming up and I had no choice but to believe. It's just that, I thought you would've told me by now. You let me believe that you were normal for so long," the way he says 'normal' hurts. He continues , "I just thought you remembered faster than I. But I guess you knew everything the whole time."
"I'm sorry. I am so, so sorry," I say, barely above a whisper.
"I know you are. I just wish you would have told me," he remarks. At this point I'm struggling to stay calm. I can see he's hurt and so am I. I just wish he knew how sorry I was.
"Please forgive me," I mutter. "I know I messed up. Again. But please don't leave me because of this."
Then he unexpectedly smiles.
"Leave you?" He replies. "I couldn't possibly leave now when you just admitted you have magic and how you know what you know. You've always been there for me. And of course I forgive you."
I can't hold it in any longer. Tears start streaming down my face. At first I try to hide feeling weak, but then I give up.
"Thank you. Oh thank you so much." He puts his hand on my shoulder and leaves it there until I stop crying. I can almost feel feel all the guilt and pain I've carried for so many years coming out of me. It's like being a little kid and getting lost, but then your mother finds you and you just cry because of how scared you were and how relieved you are that you were found. Although I may be crying I have not felt this joyful in many, many years.

Thanks again for reading this chapter. I hope you liked it! I'm planning on updating again very soon. Have an awesome week!!