Pagdating namin sa unit, sinabihan kong matulog muna sya. Ako naman, aayusin ko ang mga damit nya. Sabi ng mga kaibigan ko, magaling ako magimpake. Madami kasi ako magdala ng damit kaya kailangan magaling ako magempake.
Pero sa lahat ng pagiimpake, eto na ata ang pinakamahirap. I'm here, packing my husband for 3 days' things. Grabe pala ang inaabot ng pamilyang may ofw. Ang hirap ha. Nung makaempake na ako, pumunta ako sa kwarto kita kong tulog na si Ethan. Iniayos ko muna ang paghiga nya at humiga na din sa tabi nya.
Pagkalapat ng aking likod sa kama, naramdaman ko ang mga braso nyang yumakap sa akin. Hinarap ko sya at niyakap din. Hindi na kami pareho nakapigil, tinugon ko ang mga halik nyang nakakapaso.
While he's kissing me, his hands went down on my proud peaks. Suddenly, I felt the need to be touched so I allowed him. I am ready. It's a sin no more. We are very married. He was kissing my neck. I feel a different sensation. A sensation that seems to be pulling me to heaven. Eto na talaga ito. I close my eyes to feel the moment. Ramdam na ramdam ko na ang kahandaan ko. I am very much ready for everything this moment has to offer until he suddenly stop.
"I'm sorry Love." sabi nya at bigla syang napabangon at lumayo
I don't know what to feel! I have a sudden burst of all emotions.
"YOU'RE SORRY???!!!" galit na sabi ko.
Nambitin na, Nagsorry pa! Aba nakakaoffend ah!
"No, not that."
Humarap syang muli sa akin.
"Am I not beautiful or sexy or attractive enough to fuck??!"
"Oh My! No, Love, no. You don't know how big my control was! You don't know how much resistance I need to put in my brain for not to make love to you. No Love, you don't know." Sabi nya habang pilit na pinapaharap nya ako sa kanya.
"I don't want to take you, gad, it's really hard not to take you! You are beautiful my Love, far more than the word beauty itself. I just want you as whole as you are when I leave. Because the truth is we'll never know if I could see you again. I don't know if I'll be capable of coming back. I don't want to burden you Love. I don't want to ruin you, just to fulfill my needs." Gusto ko nang umiyak but I need to put up on my strong facade. I don't want to fail him. My love for him is greater than the comfort I want for myself.
"I want you. I badly want you. But Love, you're my priority. I don't want you to have regrets. I don't want you burdened. You are very important to me. Delam faghat toro mikhad. Dooset daram kheyli ziyad. Delam barat tang mishe ( My heart wants only you. I love you so much. I'll miss you.)"
"Kahit nagaalien language ka at hindi ko yan maintindihan, isa lang ang sasabihin ko sa'yo. I trust you, please don't break it."
He smiled and hugged me. Making me hug him as I lay over him.
"Promise me that if I returned very well, you need to reward me an all day love. Promise me so I would die not to die. Promise me Love."
"I will wait for you okay? Please live. Live for me. For us."
"I will Love. I will live."
Nakatulog kami sa ganoong pwesto. Hindi ko alam kung paanong nangyaring napkakomportable ng pwestong yun. I slept for some hours. Nagising ako ng mas maaga sa kanya. I had a hard time getting out from his tight hug. I cook egg and hotdog then toast a bread. This maybe our last meal together.
"Love?"
"Hmmn."
"Wake up. Join me for breakfast please?"
"Ofcourse. Good Morning Love." Bangon nya sabay halik.
Together we ate breakfast. Bakit ito na ata ang pinakamabilis na breakfast ever. After our breakfast, he take a bath already and prepared himself.
Tinulungan ko syang ayusin ang sarili nya, kahit alam ko namang kayang kaya nya. I helped him wear his shoes. Hanggang dito lang kasi ang kaya ko. Hanggang dito lang.
"Are you good to go now?"
"No. I won't be good leaving you."
"Ikaw talaga. Let's bring you to airport?"
He was carrying his back pack and pulling his luggage towards the car while his other hand were on my shoulders.
"I'll drive." Sabi ko
"For the last time, let me drive us." sabi nya
For the last time. Haiii. Ang bilis talaga. Tinalo ko pa ang isang linggong pag-ibig ni Imelda Papin. He keeps on talking while he's driving commenting on almost anything he sees. Ako naman tahimik lang, konting comments, konting oo. As much as possible I don't talk too long baka mamaya na lang tumulo ang luha ko.
Habang palapit kami sa airport, pabigat ng pabigat ang pakiramdam ko. Naninikip na ata ang dibdib ko. And the time has come. He pulled over sa harap ng airport.
He smiled to me and hold my hand. "I'll miss you Love."
Bumaba na kami. Ibinaba na rin nya ang gamit nya. He looked at me. Oh my God! I hate this moment!
"Dooset daram kheyli ziyad. Delam barat tang mishe." Then he kissed me.
Bago pa sya makalayo, I almost jump unto him and hugged him and gave him a peck. Gad! Never in my entire life na pinangarap kong magPDA pero I care less now. This maybe my last chance kaya naman susulitin ko na.
(Zea kissing Ethan)
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"Bye for now Love. I'll see you soon right?"
"I'll do everything to get back to you, Love."
"Take care." Bilin ko sa kanya
"You too."
Tumalikod na si Ethan at derechong naglakad. I stayed looking at him while he enters the airport. Haii ang bigat lang ng feeling. Totoo nga pala, the most honest tears and most sincere kisses can be found here in the airport as I've witnessed mine in the exact place where I'm standing.
