You want to say yes because maybe it will make it easier, but you just cannot lie to her. You decide to go with the truth because she deserves that. You shake your head, allowing her to take a collective sigh as she takes a step forward and places her hand under your chin. With her fingers, she turns your head back towards hers and that is when you see that something is glistening in her eyes.
"Please," she whimpers, her eyes desperately trying to find some comfort in yours, but you cannot give her any. You do not have any left to give.
You do not want to say anything. You really do not because you think it might be easier to let her go, but the part of you that loves her with everything you have takes over.
"Why do you love me," you ask softly, your eyes falling to the ground as the confession slips from your mouth.
"What," she asks, her eyebrows knitting together in an instant. Almost as if she is asking if she actually heard you right.
"Lauren," you sigh, "you don't need me. Your captain of the softball team and possibly the most liked person in the school. You have all of these friends that adore you and you don't have a single thing to worry about because it's all planned out for you."
You take a step back to collect yourself as it all comes pouring out. You wipe your eyes to remove the tears, but never once glance up at her for the sake of staying under control.
"You have all these scholarships to play softball for the best schools possible and I'm just here."
You sigh and throw your hands up in the air, holding back the tears that are trying to fall all the while trying not to raise your voice too loudly to alert anyone passing by. Your eyes find the green ones across from you where Lauren stands there with tear stained cheeks and wild eyes as she watches you come unglued.
"I'm just here, studying and getting straight A's while you go out to parties and make memories. All I do is weigh you down and I don't want to do that anymore, Lauren," you say in almost a whisper, unable to complete the thought of letting her go.
"Y/N..." she attempts to say, but it comes out as a raspy whisper from having stayed silent so long, "please..."
"No Lauren," you say sternly, "I need to do this. I can't let them get to me anymore, so I need you-"
"Wait a minute," she cuts you off, holding up her hand, "who is 'them'?"
You mentally face palm yourself because you have just given away a vital piece of information you had not intended on giving out. You are unable to form a coherent word because for the first time since your relationship has started, you are scared of the girl in front of you. Her once piercing green eyes appear black in the darkness of the room and her hands have found themselves balled up into fists, ready to strike at something. Her teeth have clamped together, as you can barely see her gritting her teeth together, but still, you do not say a thing.
"Y/N," she says sternly, taking a step towards you, "tell me who they are."
You start to sweat profusely, your once stern demeanor long gone.
"I... I don't know."
Her eyes narrow as she grits down on her teeth, "What do you mean you don't know?"
She steps even closer to you, closing the distance in between you, immediately stepping into your personal space. Her eyes beam at you angrily, while her fist clench down by her sides. You cower under her, immediately stepping back, "Please don't hurt me."
You bring your hands up to cover your face as your eyes fly shut so you do not have to see what's about to come next. You can feel your body shaking and you suddenly regret bringing anything up at all.
but you're my favorite nerd
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