Of Wildflowers and Gunpowder

Chapter 15

As soon as we arrived at headquarters, Benjamin, Lafayette, and Hamilton hurried inside for the meeting with Washington and I helped the carriage driver put the horses away.
     "You don't have to help me, Miss," the older man said, untying the horses from the carriage, "I'm sure you have much more important things to do."
     I smiled. "Don't we all have more important things to do? Of course I want to help you!" We led the pair of stallions into the stable around the back of the enormous house and he looked at me quizzically, as if I was going to run off at the smell.
As I began filling a bucket of water, he asked, "Are you adjusting well to West Point? I'm sure you must miss your home."
"It's beautiful here, right on the Hudson," I replied, "and everyone is so wonderful to me. I do miss my tent back in Morristown but if this will keep this army safe, I am content to never go back to New Jersey. Besides, I don't exactly have a real home anymore."
When the horses were safely put away, I bid him goodbye and he thanked me profusely, bowing over and over again to kiss my hand.
     It made me laugh, his adoration of me, and I gave him a small kiss on the cheek before I gathered up my dress and headed back to headquarters.
I could hear the meeting taking place in the North parlor so I silently made my way upstairs to my temporary living quarters. The pile of mending I had begun to work on the night before was strewn across the bed and I collapsed on them, holding my side in pain and exhaustion. It had been a long morning. 
      As I picked up a pair blood-stained and tattered socks and a needle, I thought about Benjamin and how lucky I was to have such a high place in this revolution, especially as a woman.
     The first time I encountered Ben, I was a rich young girl with everything I ever wanted, a family that loved me, and absolutely no opinion on Britain or the colonies. If only I could have seen myself now. So much had changed.

"Hey, miss!" I heard from behind me, "Wait for us!" Turning, I came face to face with two young men, their waistcoats unbuttoned and hair disheveled. They were obviously drunk and I took a wary step back.
     The shorter one stuck his hand out brashly and said, "Nathan Hale, at your service. This," he and the other boy giggled like schoolchildren, "is my friend Benjamin Tallmadge."
"At your service, ma'lady," Tallmadge slurred, a smug grin on his face as I offered my hand in anxious resignation. "It is a pleasure to meet you both," I said curtly, "but I must go."
"Wait!" Nathan cried, grabbing my arm clumsily, "At least tell us your name!" I examined them both closely. They didn't seem to be malicious or lustful, simply drunk and totally inhibited.
     Nathan Hale was wearing a black frock over his grey waistcoat, a white cravat tied around his neck and tucked into it. He was young, probably the same age as me, but still attractive. I could tell he had a passion for everything he set his mind to; there was fierceness in his eyes.
     Benjamin Tallmadge was actually quite handsome, a bright, hopeful expression on his face despite the exhaustion under his eyes. He looked intelligent and seemed like he would be a good person, although only a sober conversation would tell what he was really like. "My name is Louisa Adams," I told them, "I suppose you both attend at Yale?"
     They nodded in unison and Benjamin's face lit up with a wide smile. "You should visit us sometime, you would surely be welcome." I smiled graciously, anxious to escape this conversation and get back to my house where dinner was being prepared.
"Perhaps one day I will. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go. It was a pleasure making your acquaintance, both of you."
     Nathan Hale seemed to accept it but Benjamin Tallmadge looked desperate. "Please, Miss Adams, we are on our way to the tavern across town. You could...ah...be my guest."
His sheepish voice was endearing and I truly wanted to join them but I knew how it would look, the daughter of the wealthiest family in town following two drunk men into a dirty tavern. Besides, as much as I wanted to, I just didn't completely trust them.
"No, thank you, although I appreciate the offer. I hope to see you again...sometime soon."
Crestfallen, they accepted my answer and bid me farewell. Benjamin took my hand clumsily and kissed it, looking up at me with a tired smile of resignation.
     My heart broke for him as they turned away and I made my way towards the waiting carriage, a short walk away in the New Haven Green downtown.
As I lay in bed that night, the faint sound of crickets and murmuring voices of servants echoing through my room, I was unable to stop thinking about the two boys from Yale College. Especially Benjamin Tallmadge.       
      If only I could speak to him again; learn what he was studying, where his family was from, and how old he was.
The next morning—and every morning after that, I took the same road on my way into the city in hopes that I would see them again. They were nowhere to be seen.