Of Wildflowers and Gunpowder

Chapter 6

"You simply can't go out in front of the whole Royal army looking like that," Major André mused as he came back in confidently, "so I figured this would be a nice change."
     In his hands, he carefully held a white cotton English gown with beautiful floral chintz prints dotting the fabric. I smiled softly at the gesture.
     André was obviously so riddled with guilt about me that he felt compelled to meet my every need. It was pitiful, but sweet.
If only Benjamin could see me in it, I thought, he would probably laugh at the frivolity of the whole thing.
       "It's beautiful," I said, running my hand along the seams, "I am surprised the British Army has expensive gowns just lying around." He chuckled quietly and replied, "we have everything."
     André picked up my letter from his desk on his way back out but poked his head back in a moment later.
     "I forgot to tell you, Miss Louisa, but immediately following the hanging tonight I will be called away from camp for a night. Captain Simcoe," he spat the words like poison, "has pushed his way to the front of the line to watch over you. I apologize sincerely because I know how he is, but I had no say in the matter. I will be back in time for....for your execution." He mumbled the last words, quite out of character for him, and eyed me carefully, unsure of how I was going to respond.
     I nodded, taking a deep breath and forcing a smile. "I will be fine. Only a few more days, then I will be free from him forever. Stay safe on your journey." The side of his mouth turned up slightly and he gave me a small nod of affirmation before he disappeared once more, leaving me to put on the dress.
     I slid the cotton chemise on over my head after removing the blood-caked clothes I was wearing. Breathing a sigh of calm relief, I hugged the soft fabric close and smiled. The small things now seemed like enormous victories in this desperate situation, I realized, beginning to lace the stays.
     I grunted in pain as the boned fabric pressed against the bullet wound and I tied it looser than normal. It wouldn't be terribly important to have the best posture while hanging from the gallows.
     The dress fit fairly well and looked strikingly beautiful, each detail perfectly sewn. I'll die in this dress, I thought despairingly.
In the corner of the tent, there was a small wooden washbasin that I used to wash my hands and face. I repinned my hair into a few loose rolls and took a shaking breath as Major André came back in tentatively.
     "You look quite handsome," he cried with a smile, unrolling a large map on the rug and kneeling beside it. It was of the entire colony of New York, with our place in Brooklyn marked and the fort at West Point circled. My heart sank.
     "So it's true?" I said in barely a whisper, sinking to my knees on the other side of the map. He looked up with confusion in his eyes and I breathed, "you're taking West Point."
     He nodded hesitantly, watching me with caution in his eyes, as if I was about to lunge for him. "It is imminent, Miss Louisa. This will all be over soon. Isn't that what we all want? Peace once more?"
     Was it really what I wanted? Was it what General Washington wanted? Surely not like this. If they succeeded in capturing West Point, the patriot cause would be decimated. Next, Washington would be captured either by brute force or defecting spies desperate not to lose their heads if the war was won by the British.
     With Washington gone, everything would fall apart and Benjamin would surely be executed or imprisoned. Even Caleb Brewster would be in danger.
     And with no one left to spy for and no cause to fight for, what would become of Robert Townsend and Abraham Woodhull? Were they to just live the rest of their lives in their Loyalist facade, pretending they were on the British side all along? Would the guilt and pressure be too much for them?
     The thousands of letters send between Washington and the rest of the Ring would eventually be uncovered and their role as spies would be found out.
     There was no escape if this war ended against us, I realized. The remaining patriots had no choice but to give their lives for this revolution or risk falling into the hands of their enemies later on.
     "Please don't do this," I begged, taking Major André's warm hand in my shaking one as an attempt to appeal to his compassion, "I just...there's so many people that deserve to live out their whole lives. So many families that will be torn apart and children left alone like me and wives who will never see their lover again. You'd never understand."
His eyes softened and he answered, "I do understand-"
"No, Major André. I mean no disrespect, but you don't understand. Even if you lose this war, you get to sail back to your estate in England, greet your friends and family, recline in wealth and comfort, praised by everyone as a war hero and live the rest of your days in security and happiness, forgetting everything that happened here. If we lose, we will all be slaughtered. We have nothing to come home to, nothing but the hope that we will bleed and die so that our descendants will live in the nation we could only dream of. You don't know what it's like to feel so hopeless, like the fate of thousands of years rests in your hands and you are unable to hold them. You don't understand Major."
He looked down at the map sheepishly and bit his lip. "I read your letter. It was heartbreaking, Miss Louisa, and I suppose you are correct, I will never know what it's like to suffer from this war like you have. I killed your family and now I will stand by, unable to stop them from killing you. I am a wretched person."
He shoved the map to the side and jumped to his feet, holding a hand out to help me stand.
"You are not a wretched person," I assured him, hoping I wasn't lying, "I do not blame you for my death. You were following orders when you killed my family. I just...beg you to think of me when you capture West Point. Think of the lives you are taking and maybe spare some of them. That is all I ask, Major John André."
"I will do my best, Miss Louisa."

ALMOST TO THE EXCITING PART YAY HANG IN THERE LADIES AND GENTS

also thanks for reading it makes me really happy:)

Also for reference this is kinda what I imagine Louisa's dress to look like...