Of Wildflowers and Gunpowder

Chapter 5

     "Louisa!" Nathan gushed as the canvas tent fluttered open to reveal his bruised face.
André followed behind him, wearing a cautious but satisfied expression. I jumped to my feet and embraced him, tears streaming down my face.
"Benjamin is safe, Arnold is the traitor," he whispered barely audibly into my ear before pulling away as if nothing had happened.
     My mind reeled. Benjamin is safe. Arnold is the traitor.
I was relieved for Benjamin; at least he was still alive. But Benedict Arnold? If Hale was right, General Washington was in grave danger. There were few men Washington trusted more than Arnold.
"You're covered in blood!" He exclaimed, sitting beside me on the bed and motioning to my crimson stained petticoat and stays.
"I am. But I'm fine, I promise."
     "Will you," he bit his lip and looked down at the ground, "be there tonight?" I nodded and took his hand gently, wishing there was something I could do to comfort him.
     He was twenty-one, a year older than me and one of the most intelligent men I knew. We had met a few times before, in Connecticut where I first met him and Benjamin as drunk Yale students, and many times since then at camp.
     I should have known his operation would not be a success; Hale had never set foot in Long Island and was suddenly expected to act like a local. It was a death sentence, but we were all desperate for intelligence.
     Unwilling to ask exactly how he was discovered, I simply sat with him in comfortable silence, the miserable company of those condemned to a lonely death.
     "I had hoped," he said mournfully, "that you and dear Tallmadge would be married after the end of this accursed war. He truly loved you. More than life itself, from the moment we met you during college."
     I tried not to let the tears fall as he embraced me. After all we had done, our lives would be remembered evermore for our death.
He took my face in his hands and looked at me with piercing eyes, hoping that I would still have a chance of escaping, or at least passing it on to someone who could stop the betrayal before I was killed.
     "Be brave. Be dignified," I said softly as he stood and was escorted out by André.
I collapsed on the bed, overwhelmed and feeling absolutely helpless. I have information on the most devastating betrayal this war has ever seen but I have no one to tell.
My whole job was relaying important details to General Washington and right now, in the most dire situation of my life, that was the one thing I couldn't do.
When Major André came back in, I thanked him gratefully but remained silent after that for quite some time, feeling frustrated and defeated. Despite his kindness, I couldn't help but blame this on André. His hands had slaughtered my parents, my dear brother, taken everything from me.
Now, he would play a part in my disgraceful death and the fall of this new nation. How could I not blame him?
     "Could I trouble you for another request?" I said quietly, briefly looking up to meet his eyes.
"Perhaps."
     "Paper, something to write with. I just....have to tell someone what has happened to me." He looked down at his desk contemplatively before removing a sheet of parchment from his stack and an inkwell and pen.
"Whatever you write, I have to read it. You are aware of that?" I nodded with a small smile as he gave me the materials and a book to write on.
He left the tent and I took a deep breath before putting the quill pen to the paper.

My dearest, Benjamin Tallmadge,
My heart breaks as I write this, knowing that this will quite likely be our last correspondence. Three days ago, while riding home from York City, I was shot and captured by Captain John Simcoe and condemned to be hanged as a spy. Do not despair over my death, I beg you, for it is but a small price to pay for the liberties we will soon have won. There is so much I long to convey to you that would simply not be allowed in this letter so I must hope that you will discover it for yourself before it is too late. I wish, my love, that we could have lived the lives we had planned; the victorious end to this war, a formal courtship, the most glorious wedding you have ever seen, living in comfort and long-awaited safety until death separated us. It seems as if death has come to separate us prematurely. Bid adieu to Colonel Alexander Hamilton, General Washington, and the Marquis de Lafayette for me with the greatest urgency, begging them to be vigilant and watchful in the days to come, for their safety and the safety of the army. I wish, my dear Benjamin, that you could beat me in a lively game of chess one last time or that I could make you one more bowl of  that awful chicken soup or even operate on another one of your gruesome wounds. If you survive this war, do not forget about me but do not dwell in the past. Live your life to it's fullest and do even greater things for this magnificent nation than we could ever dream of at this present moment. It seems almost foolish that I should die before you, one of the British army's most wanted men, but I am pleased to sacrifice my life so that you can continue serving your country in greater ways than I ever could. I am doing well, healing from a gunshot would to the side thanks greatly in part to Major John André and his civility to me. Captain Simcoe, however, I cannot give the same report but I am sure you are not surprised by that. I regret that I must end this letter, as I am sure it will be my last words to you. My dear Benjamin Tallmadge, I wish I had more time to show you how much I love you. I say goodbye with a heavy heart and tearful eyes,
        Forever in love with you,
       Louisa Adams

     Tears streamed down my face as I looked back over what I had written and contemplated giving more obvious warnings of a traitor and whether it would pass through André's hands. I was embarrassed to let him read it; all my desperate thoughts were on this paper and to hand it over to the enemy was simply out of my nature.
     Before sealing it, I made a quick decision that I knew could ruin everything but I felt compelled to share the vital information I had in this. I wrote a small 235/642 on the bottom of the paper barely visible to anyone not looking for it. General/Traitor. This was my only hope that they would understand the danger they were in.
     I folded the letter a little differently than usual, the way the spy ring let recipients know there was something beneath the surface of the letter.  After struggling to limp across the tent, I set it carefully on André's desk. I had done everything I could.