Use Me, Royal Stranger (mxm)

Chapter 39 - Better Things Are Yet To Come

Lance's arms went around Carlen's to support his weight as another sob racked his body. How could his Royal Stranger be gone, just like that? So suddenly? Was this the Goddess' doing? Why would she take him from them? Was it because of the times that Carlen had cursed him out of anger? Were they all coming true now? Was this his fault? Was this just all a bad dream he had to wake up from? Could he possibly wake from this dream?

"I'm s-s-sorry." He stammered as he clung onto Lance's arms.

"Come Carlen, let's sit you down. Let the others say their- their goodbyes." Lance's voice broke slightly as he spoke.

Carlen shook his head, "Just-Just a while more." He sobbed, clutching on the side of the coffin as he stared at Alaric's face. If he looked away now, if he walked away, Alaric was going to be buried and he could never see him again. Why didn't he tell Alaric earlier that he had already forgiven him? Maybe then he would have fought harder to live. Maybe then he would be still alive, still breathing, still smiling. Maybe then he would not have only the last moments of his life to be relieved. Carlen felt like the most selfish person in the world. How could he have been so wrapped up in his own suffering to not see how much Alaric had repented for what he had done? How could he have been so spiteful and unforgiving to not cut the poor man some slack?

"Carlen." Prince Shayne's voice was firm beside him as he walked up to the pair in his formal royal robes, "You have to send him off with a smile. He'd hate to see you cry. Let him go well, Carlen. Come. Let's take our seats."

"I-" Carlen licked his lips and wiped his tears, "I just want to look at his face a while more." How long was a while more? It didn't feel like it was enough. Was this why Nana always told him to live his life as though tomorrow would never come? So he would not regret it if something like that happens? It hurt so much to think that Alaric would never be around anymore. His chest clenched tightly as he remembered how much he loved and hated to see Alaric furrow his brows. He would never get to see that any longer.

Prince Shayne looked at him sadly before nodding, moving slightly so both the warrior and him stood beside Carlen. Lance rubbed circles on Carlen's back with one hand and supported Carlen's weakening frame with the other, while Shayne stared sadly at Carlen's crying figure.

"Carlen..." Lance started again after several minutes have passed and a line started to form behind them. Carlen startled slightly before he nodded, leaning down and placing a kiss on Alaric's forehead, sighing as he let the two men drag him towards the pews. He was never going to see Alaric ever again.

The funeral procession went on and concluded in a blur. To Carlen at least. He cried at every single eulogy that was shared. He cried the hardest at Lance's and Sophia's speech. He was told to prepare one and he did, but he knew he could not do it. He would be a blubbering mess halfway through that, and it was embarrassing to think about it. No one pressed the matter, and his chance to say anything was passed.

As the session began to conclude, the congregation bowed as his coffin was transported out of the hall by the strongest warriors, Lance taking the lead as Head Warrior. Prince Shayne was right by Carlen's side to support him as they watched the coffin leave the hall to the Royal crypt where Alaric would rest for all eternity.

As the doors of the hall closed behind them, Carlen let himself fall into Prince Shayne's arms. He couldn't imagine having to do this ever again. To send off anyone else he loved in his life. It was awful. If Lance was taken from him too, he would surely follow. The pain was not something he wanted to endure ever again.

The hall slowly cleared out, and Carlen waited patiently for Lance to return to them so they could go back together. He needed to see Lance, to be reassured that he was real and alive. That he had not gone with Alaric. Prince Shayne, although reluctant to stay in the hall, did not want Carlen to be alone, so he too, remained behind.