The Ruby in the Storm

Chapter 11: Not a Drop to Drink

"I know," he said. "It's not a miracle cure by any means, but it... It's been my solace."

"I've not seen you partake," Charlotte replied, confused.

"I never did in front of you," Ross informed her sullenly. "I did not drink myself into a stupor, but some nights it was the only way I could keep from banging my head against the wall or going mad with the thought of being away from Lucy and not knowing where she is or if she is safe. I murdered a man for her, and the idea that I would to it again did not help either. It clouded my thoughts enough to keep them from ruining me, but I never drank more than what I needed."

"And now you will not have to," Charlotte stepped forward and tossed the flask overboard. Ross watched it fall into the roaring waters below, and he chuckled.

"There is more drink on board, you know."

"And if I have to, I will throw it all into the ocean," she replied simply.

"The crew will have your hide."

She shrugged. "I've lived around enough salty brained sailors on Clayton, they do not frighten me. But you spiraling into a deep, dark hold of drink and self pity does, Ross."

He sighed and rubbed his temples. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize, grow a spine again!" Charlotte snapped. "I did not come along to see you wither. You need to get your head out of whatever it is that haunts you, and keep your eyes forward, Ross."

"You've no idea what it is that haunts me," Ross said.

"Because you won't tell me," Charlotte replied. "And it is not as if I haven't tried to get you to tell me either. I let you into my home because it was the right thing to do, and I do not regret it, Ross. Maybe it was for my own selfish needs as well, the thought of being the person that you depended on. Because I loved you and it appealed to me to have you in my care... But I see now that you are fighting a greater battle, and it's easier won if you have someone to be your ally."

Ross shook his head. "I'm going to find Lucy, that is the only battle I am fighting."

"But why did you lose her in the first place?" Charlotte asked. "What caused your separation? Why was she taken from you?"

Ross really wished he had his flask back now. "Charlotte..."

"What happened on Belmoran, Ross?" Charlotte asked. "What really happened?"

Ross pushed away from the railing and tucked his hand in his pockets. "It is best that you do not know."

"And I will not find out eventually?" She pressed. "It is best that I hear from you."

"Charlotte, don't..."

"What happened on Belmoran, Ross?"

"Charlotte, please!"

"What happened?!" She snapped.

"I killed a man!" He shouted, immediately regretting it, but he didn't stop there. "I shot a man and killed him because he was trying to rape the woman I loved. I had no other impulse. The pistol was in my hand before I knew it, and I shot him. He died right in front of me, and my life fell apart. My love fell apart. I did it to save her and in the end I lost her. That is what happened on Belmoran, Charlotte..." He breathed in, seeing the look of horror on her face and regretting ever allowing her to push him to the truth that he needed to admit. "I told you that it was best that you did not know."

With that, he pushed past her and strode away towards the quarterdeck. He did not turn around to look back at her, but kept his eyes forward. That was all he could do now.