Chapter 18

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“Are you sure you want to hear all about my life, I can still leave you with a good impression of me”, he utters.

“Too late, hurry up and spill the beans, your image has already been ruined.

He frowns. “You’ll probably run out after you hear me out”.

I chuckle; he looks at me with concern. “I’ve been trying to that for how many days?”

He smiles. “Don’t count on it, I won’t let you.”

“I was hoping you wouldn’t say that”, I admit.

“Do you want to hear, yes or no?” he questions.

I roll my eyes. “Fine go ahead.”

He looks at me in a malevolent manner, “You need to stop doing that. Understand!”

I look down gulping in the process. He’s been starting to act strangely and more so angrily. “Understand”, he shouts.

“Yes”, I say my voice harsh almost as if I was answering my own father’s commands.

“Good boy,” he mocks as if I was his pet.

“I’m going to speak, don’t ask any questions, don’t say anything till the end okay?” he dictates in an omnipotent manner.

“Yes sir”, I say mockingly. He rolls his eyes as I sink into the pillow awaiting the story of his.

***

“I wasn’t the best person growing up, you know I’ve had family problems since I was young; my father dead, my mother living overseas with her husband, and my beautiful sister left me to start her own family. Sure I talk to her and visit her, but it does not account for the hardships and moments of misery I’ve suffered, those were the times of need.

First of all, the million dollar question; I was born bi. I just don’t know why I’m bisexual, there were so many moments I’d try to fight it, to be biased towards my heterosexuality, but it didn’t work. I just learned to accept it. I was living peacefully, accepting my state and living a ‘straight lifestyle’ until you came along. You allowed this forbidden half of me to come alive; it evolved and grew so strong, all because of you.

I needed you, and then accepted myself just for you. You’re person in my life that has shaped it completely. No one was there for me, other than my sister, she’s gone. My brother’s rotting in jail, I usually go and see him every week, but that’s barely enough to keep me emotionally satisfied. And then there’s you. The smart, intelligent, sophisticated young boy that makes everyone’s suffering disappear almost as if it didn’t exist. I see the way the other fags look at you in the gym, how they’d love to spend every single waking moment with you! Why? Because you understand life, how to live. You’re a leader with instinct and those who admire you will follow like dogs.”

He looks at me puzzled, his lips sealed still following my command.

“You’ve been in my apartment for a while now Danny. Don’t you ever question how someone like me could live like this?”

He gives me a blank look. “I do, but then I remember you’re a very hard worker,” he says so innocently it makes me want to hit myself knowing what I reveal to him could potentially ruin us.

“I’m not what you think I am Danny”, I say shyly.

His looks right through me, confident and courageous. “I know, not everyone is perfect you know.”

“Yeah but I’m different”, I reveal.

His luscious aquatic eyes meet mine. His stare so firm, so tender. A smile forms on his face, my heart skips a beat. “Everyone is different Matt, we live in a society that is formed from the distinguishable behaviour and trends of humans. Can you imagine if we were all the same? How boring would that people, we’d almost be in some sort of utopia, except everyone would think the same, behave the same and basically live the same. Whatever you do, however you think, there is no escaping that everyone is not the same, sure we have our mutual interests, but that’s it. God made us this way for a reason. Your name is Mathew and my name is Danny; two different names, two different people, two different minds.”

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