chapter 33:a new girl

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Alright everyone two more chapters and this is finished. I have been writing a lot of drafts for the second half of this series and i am super excited. I am in the process drawing a manga for this story as well! Can't wait to publish it!
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Nothing.. There was not a single feeling going through my body. Not sadness, not heart break, nor anxiety. My soul was all the remained of my heart. The soul is my essence, not my emotion. There was no thump under the flesh and bone of my chest. Not a rythm was felt, I looked down at Naruto's, still form and questioned what I should be feeling. He laid there motionless, he was unconscious and no one knew when he would awaken. We were alone, I was to go and help with Neji's surgery soon. The thought of Neji didn't cause me guilt or pain anymore. It was just something that happened. He was just a name. Sitting next to Naruto, I began to tell him everything I'd done and intended to do, knowing he couldn't truly hear. I stood, finishing my one sided conversation. "Gomen... you went through this trouble. Only for Sasuke to betray us. He is gone and there is no point trying to find him. If he wants to return he will. If not life goes on. I'll be back Naruto."

I made my way to the operating room, everyone in the hospital waved at me or bowed. Not that I cared, I would return their gestures without a smile or even a glint in my eye. Pulling out the Scroll of Suppression, I began studying. The instructions were easy enough, opportunity is what I needed. Upon reaching the room I noticed my grandmother hard at work, I tucked the scroll away and opened the door. My former lover laid in a spell circle on the ground as grandmother's chakra flowed into him. There were others around him doing the same. He was still, and I wanted to feel something for him but couldn't. Regret? Love? Sadness? A finger couldn't be placed on any emotion. My grandmother turned to see me at the door and called me in. "Kiki-chan, there was some damage caused to the head, I trust you can repair the cellular disruption and fractures with ease." I took my place next to Neji's head as instructed. Little did they know this was where I needed to be.

Taking one last look around to be sure the others were distracted I cast a hinge. Under the hinge I looked like I was working on only healing him, when in reality I was about to put him through a pain far worse than dying. Activating the Tengokugan, unlike the other two the 'Holy Trinity' wasn't required for this spell, I weaved the hand signs. I bit my finger and drew a circle of blood on both of our foreheads. Closing my eyes, I focused on the memory that took place at my house, we both shared, then placed my hands on either side of his head.When I felt our memories connecting, I could actually see the way he saw that day through his own eyes. Taking a deep breath I completed the jutsu, "memory suppression". Speaking the sacred words caused my nose to bleed and head to ache. His began to do the same but due to his already weakened state, he began to seize as well. Around me I could hear yelling and beeping from monitors. I couldn't stop until I was finished though, until the memory was gone from both our minds.

The images began to fade as the pain grew worse, until at last they were gone. Neither of us would remember anything from that day together. I wouldn't have to worry about feeling guilty when I got my heart back. If I ever put it back. Releasing the jutsu caused his seizing to stop and deactivating my Tengokugan and hinge helped my pain ease as well. I refocused on his skull. After an hour my grandmother spoke, "good job everyone! He'll make a full recovery. We couldn't have done it without you kiki-chan, you're talented and clearly take after m--" before she could finish I left the room to return to Naruto.

When I entered this time there were others there and he was awake. They all raised their eyes to look at me. Shikamaru, Sakura, Naruto, Ino, my father Kakashi and grandfather Jiraiya. They offered me smiles, all but Naruto. They all gave me strange looks when I spoke, "Naruto, you're awake. How is the pain?" were they surprised by something? Oh yeah, no emotions, must be obvious. "Kiki-chan, aren't you going to ask about Sasuke like everyone else?" I didn't respond, I walked without feeling toward him and the others parted ways as I drew closer. Laying a hand on his forehead he shifted under the cold touch. He looked shocked and I knew why, "Kiki-chan, your hand is cold." this caused my father and Sakura to look at me with worried eyes. Again, I didn't respond, I grabbed his wrist and checked his pulse. Picking up his chart, I began to write down his vitals when his words stopped my pen, "He took the necklace.. And asked me to tell you something. He sa--" I cut him short, "He is not of import, you are my focus right now. Don't waste time on such triv--" this time my words were cut off by my pink haired teammate.

"Shut up! You loved him, I loved him, we all cared about him. How can you call him unimportant? Naruto and the others went through all this to bring him back to you and you treat their work like this? Selfish! I expected more from the great Kikiyo Siada. My best friend! But turns out you're just a stuck up princess." what she said had no affect on me. Not a bit but I needed to keep up appearances so I reacted. In a flash so quick, it was nearly unseen, I picked her up by the throat and slammed her into the wall with great force. The other gasped as I spoke, "If you ever cross me, I will not hesitate to end your life. Friends aren't something I need right now. Listen carefully." before I could finish something caused me to release her neck and she fell to the ground in a coughing pile. My father and Ino ran to her side as i turned toward Shikamaru, Naruto and my Grandfather. Shikamaru's hands were raised and I was locked in his "shadow possession" jutsu. Looking at him with unfeeling eyes caused him to take a step back and release the jutsu. Taking a look around I saw the nervousness on all their faces. With a fake sigh of boredom I spoke, "I have but one wish, that is to protect this village, the Land of Fire and the children that live within it. You may see that as selfish but that has been my future since I was born. I've known about this duty since I was nine. My responsibility is greater than one boy, who broke my heart and betrayed this village. He is an enemy of Konoha now and I will destroy anyone who is a threat to the future of this village and country. Foreign or domestic. Meaning if any of you betray me, as your ranking officer, priestess or future queen. I will rip your soul from your chest and feast on it as you watch yourself die." turning around I saw wide eyes and open mouths. I made my way to the door and stopped as Naruto spoke.

"What happened to you? Where is the heart of the girl I grew up with? That Sasuke fell in love with, that people admired. Her skin is always warm and vibrant, yours is cold and dull. This isn't you, where is Kiki-chan, God damn it!?" not turning around, I spoke, "I learned that carrying a heavy heart is a burden. So i decided not to anymore. There are going to be changes around here. The village will fall under much stricter order." with that I left without hearing what Sasuke had intended for me.

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