Invisible Pain

Chapter Thirteen

Dear Journal,                                         
August 22, 2011

It's been two months since I've found the love of my life. I really couldn't have asked for anyone as caring and as amazing as he was. Just this past weekend, Trevor and I drove to Beacon to make a personal introduction to Mom and Dad and what can I say, they love him and thought he was such a gentleman. He even bought lemon pudding cake from the store to bring along for them. My heart instantly melted when Dad told him towards the end of us leaving back for NYC is to take care of his daughter and Trevor's exact words were "I will". I wish I had met him sooner and I wish he was my first. He's perfect to me, especially since with him being so calm about the whole cutting situation. Ever since I've cut myself shortly after we started dating, I've been doing it less and less as he is challenging me not to use that habit anymore.
    The only thing I'm still wrapping my head around is his sister Farrah. I find her to be imitating, annoying and sometimes doesn't make sense of her words. It had bothered me when Trevor told me at the time that I was at their house that Farrah couldn't understand me the way I talked since I don't make sense to her, for which I find it to be a little bit odd for him to say and for her to tell him that. I speak perfect english thank you very much! Whenever I would come over to their house, Farrah knows I am natural with kids and yet she wouldn't let me hold her baby as if though I was going to drop him but besides the point, between Farrah and Trevor, they would talk in their stupid gibberish language in front of me all the time so I would have no idea what they were talking about. This had made me very confused to why they would do that and feel like that there was something I wasn't supposed to know between their bond. It pisses me off even more when we finally have some alone time when Farrah and the baby go to bed and instead of shouting for his name from upstairs since his room is in the basement, she would call his cell and expect him to come and help her with Nicholas. This would happen every time we try to be alone but I know what you are thinking. Why the hell be at his place and just go to yours? Well, lately he's acting like a father figure to his nephew and is being dragged around by his sister who expects him to be there all the time like ever before so our dates would end up being at that damn house. I wish I could say bitch to her but it's too much strength to use.
    But I'm also still processing the fact that he had also told me that he could never tell his Dad about me since he wouldn't like me and accept me for who I am. I was hurt by that comment thinking I wasn't good enough for his family. I kept asking myself over and over again if there was something wrong with me. I know he doesn't talk to his Dad a lot, more like his sister does, but when a guy is serious about a girl, isn't he supposed to introduce his love to his parents? I couldn't tell Trevor how I had felt since we do get along so well and I didn't want to break that bond we have and was afraid to be alone forever again like I was before.
I know I'm not very experienced with dating since Marcus and I had only dated for two months but I'm still convinced that Trevor and I can make things work. Maybe if him and I move to another city, away from drama of Farrah, then maybe we can actually get married and hopefully have kids. I love him and I know we are perfect for each other.