The Loss Within: Stalia

Chapter 19

After we argued about where to go we finally settled to go to a motel. We are driving through the dessert and everyone is talking, however I remain silent. I had a dream...Allison was in it. I'm scared. Beyond scared. I genuinely want to know why the hell Allison is hunting me. I mean...the Nogitsune killed him but me? I was just a pawn. I've blamed myself for so long but after I met Malia and learned her story, it didn't hurt any less, but it made it easier to cope for what I did. She taught me how to live with the guil, without letting it kill me. Malia. She was the one who saved me from myself, but now it's she can't, how will she? She doesn't even know and she mustn't. The only thing I want her to now right now is that I love her.
Alison was and is one of the best people I knew and I caused her pain. What kind of friend does that make me. Malia told me that I had no choice, but if she fought her shadow, I could've fought the Nogitsune. I was so concentrated on myself and my internal battle that I didn't focus on the mess I left on the battlefield.
We arrive after two hours of driving. The motel seems musty and old. There are people smoking outside and every single one of them has a gun. I shuffle nervously in my seat. Malia just sighs and looks at me from the mirror. I lift an eyebrow.
"Okay, so, we snap their necks or torture them for any information they might know?" She asks. She's still has her were-coyote side with her. That's good. Something tells me we will need it. We all step out of the car. I see Lydia's car pulling next to me. I signal her to stop.
The tattooed men glance at us. We've caught their attention. They start catcalling Malia. I start to get pissed. Very. However I keep my head clear-ish. We start walking towards the lobby when suddenly a big guy about twice my age, steps close. I look down and lift my arms.
"I don't want trouble." I say. He laughs and points at me, gesturing other men behind him.
"But I do, little guy," he says. Another guy steps closer. He unbothered s his jacket and lays it on the sand. Argent and Malia are tense. Lydia's car remains still. She knows that she needs to pull away if anything happens.
The guy walks by past me and to Malia. She grabs her chin and she just growls. Anger, anger, anger. He whistles at her.
"Good thing, I want a bitch right n-" before he can finish Malia throws a punch. I can see and hear his jaw setting off its place. It on. Five guys approach us. Malia goes ballistic and starts punching them all. However, she knows she can't shift. If not we'll have to kill them all. We need to know I him down. Scott is on Lydia's car. He gets out but I can see him tell someone which I assume is Liam to stay in the car. He slams the door shut and then the car races and disappears in the distance.
We start fighting. Malia runs towards me. She shoves me back and punches a guy. I take the guy's gun and point it at him. However, I realize that the gun has an emblem. The Calaveras.  I stop dead on my tiara is and don't shoot him.
"They're the Calaveras!" I scream, everyone turns to me. I also notice Kira is fighting with her katana. I punch several guys and Scott removes their guns, kicking them as far away as he could.
I see someone stumbles against Malia, and something goes off. I tackle him to the ground and just punch and punch and lunch. Malia is screaming at me to stop. However, Im seeing red and I want to kill everyone. Suddenly someone whalers behind
Me. It's her again.
"Not yet, Stiles." She says. I stop and then I'm back to the present. The guy's eyes are deformed and he's knocked out cold. I did this. I look down at my bloody hands and then lift myself from the floor. Everyone has their mouth hanging agape. Panic enters my bloodstream. I thing I'm having a panic attack.
"Stiles?" Malia asks and takes a step forward. I take a step backward. I don't want to hurt her.
"Yes! You do. This is who you are, Stiles. Can't you see?" Alison asks me and I see her standing right next o Malia. This will not happen again. The Nogitsune, or whatever she is, I can't let it happen again.
"Malia, step back." I tell her, however as expected she takes another step forward and I step backwards. I'm about to tell her something else, when I see a guy, all covered in blood aim his gun at Argent.
I don't think, I just put myself in front of him. I get shot and everything grows quiet, cold and dark. I owe him, I owe him.
---
We were talking. After my outburst with Scott we were talking. Talking about the shadow and what happened. I had one doubt consuming me, after what happened with Malia. And I couldn't resist so I asked that day. The sun setting above us and her face was warm and beautify as always,
"Who was the shadow that took over you?" I asked her. She looked at me confused and tucked her hair behind her ears. She crossed her arms over her chest and leaned against the Jeep.
"What do you mean?" She asked. I looked at the floor and smiled at her confusion.
"What I mean is...the Nogitsune was the thing that took over me, so I was wondering what took over you?" I asked. And she seemed to understand what I was saying. She laughed a little and then looked at me right in the eyes.
"Stiles, what took over me, was nothing more and nothing less than myself." She responded. Now I was confused.
"Nothing can have power over you, unless you let it." She whispered. The phrase echoed in my head. I still had my doubts.
"But if it was you why were you so lost and merciless?" I asked. She smiled at me again and kissed me. I kissed her back. She then pulled away.
"Stiles, it was me all the time, it was just the part of me that was lost and merciless. But Stiles that's who I was. Until, you saved me." She tells me softly, cupping my cheek. But I'm afraid. It was a part of her, but I'm starting to feel the shadow is the whole of me. Danger. When that voice reappears again, I realize, it wasn't Malia who posed danger...it was me. I am danger.

A/N: I need a 6-month vacation, twice a year. Have a good day.