Valen

Chapter 7

Valen

Once I got inside my house, I went straight to my bedroom, closed the door, and took a slow deep breath. I can't believe that just happened. I can't believe I got a ride home from the man who is possibly the man of my dreams, and I treated him like crap. What was I thinking? I know what I was thinking. I was thinking that I couldn't allow him to get close to me. I'm just too messed up. I'm not good enough for him. I'm a girl who has to deal with nightmares from a scarred past. I'm damaged goods. He seems like a great guy. I'm sure he deserves better than someone like me. Someone broken. Besides, what if I were to let him get close to me, and then once he sees how broken I truly am, decides to leave me. Then I could be left with a shattered heart. I just can't take that chance. I can't let him in.

I pulled back the curtain at my bedroom window to look outside, to see if he was gone yet. Fitzgerald was already gone, but instead there was a black SUV with dark tinted windows sitting across the street. I'd never noticed it there before.

"Valen honey, are you in there?" Mom called from the hallway.

I opened the door so I could see her, and so she could see me. "Yes, it's me."

"I didn't see your car outside. How did you get home?"

"My car wouldn't start. One of the detectives gave me a ride home? Will you be able to give me a ride to work in the morning?" I asked her. I hated to burden her, but I don't think it's a good idea to be letting Fitzgerald give me a ride to work.

"Sure. I'm scheduled for nine a.m. as well, so I can drop you on the way if you don't mind going in a little early."

"Sure, that's not a problem," I told her. It's better than the alternative.

"I'll call Gary's garage in the morning to have them get a wreck truck to pick up your car."

"Okay. Thanks mom."

"Your welcome honey," she smiled for a second before her expression turned serious. "Is everything okay?" She asked concerned. "Are you stressed about your car?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I'm just bummed about my car, but I'll be fine. I'll be out shortly to help you with dinner." I closed the door back, and took another deep breath. I usually tell her most everything, but I'm not ready to talk to her about Liam yet. There's not much to tell anyhow.

I didn't say much to mom while I was helping her make dinner, nor did I say much during dinner. I felt bad, but I just didn't feel much like talking. All I could think about was my earlier conversation with Fitzgerald. Darn it! Why was I letting him take over my thoughts, my feelings? I feel like I'm losing control of my emotions.

I went to get my cell phone out of my purse to charge it over night while I slept, but I couldn't find it. At first, I thought maybe I left it in my car at the police station. Then I remembered I had it in my hand when I got into Fitzgerald's car. Oh no! I bet I dropped it in his car. I guess I'll have to at least approach him tomorrow to ask him if he saw my phone in his car, and then afterwards I can try to avoid him like the plague.

I lay in my bed, but I couldn't sleep well. I thought about Dana. I think my feelings for her go beyond friendship, but I'm confused. Plus, I'm not sure if she feels the same. She kissed me once, in fact she did more than kiss me, but she has never expressed her feelings for me with words. Then Fitzgerald's gorgeous face kept haunting my dreams, and every time he came close to touching any part of me, I would wake up. Some girls might call it a sweet dream, but to me it's more of a beautiful nightmare. I prayed he would soon fade away so that I could get some sleep. I also knew right then that I needed to get a grip on my feelings. I'm not going to let, whatever this is, go any further than a working relationship. Not that he would even want it to go further anyway. It will be so much easier if he'll keep me at arms length. Maybe he's married. A gorgeous man like that must be married. It will be so much easier if he is. I made a mental note to look for a wedding band tomorrow.