You're My Last Hope (Under Edit)

Chapter 20

Chapter 2

I groaned as my eyes opened. Blood was all over the floor, but it wasn't mom's. Dad made me clean it up after the first beating. Mine was now all over the floor and all over myself. I'm sure he had a lot on him too. He had decided that the normal beating wasn't enough for today. There were cuts all along my torso to prove that. They hurt and stung, but I didn't care. I just laid there, not wanting to get up. I had lost what little will to live I had when mom died.

'Get up. Get up before dad comes back. You can't take another beating.' my mind screams. I didn't feel anything though. I was really just numb. My mind was working, it was thinking, but I didn't notice. Usually, when I felt numb, I would cut. It was the only way for me to feel like I was still alive; like I was still a human. I didn't want to cut though. That high only lasted until the blood stopped, then I was back to feeling depressed. Then, that just made me cut again. It was like a cycle. I started feeling bad, I cut, the blood stopped, I wanted more, I did more. It was the same thing over and over again. I wanted so much more than that now. I always had. I wanted to die. And why shouldn't I? I mean, who was left for me to care for? Max was never going to wake up, he'd be in a coma forever. Mom was dead, she wasn't coming back. I had nothing to live for.

'What about Anthony and Taylor? Anthony's already said he need you. You need to stay for him. He can't take losing another friend. Stay for him.' my mind tells me, but I block that out. He didn't need me. His life would be easier without me. He could actually have friends if I wasn't there to keep every one away. He's better off without me.

I weakly got up and grabbed my, well Taylor's, shirt, putting it on. This was it. I was going to kill myself. But not here. I couldn't do it here. Dad wasn't going to let me go easily. I knew him better than that. He would want my death to be slow and torturous. Which I don't see why. He's tortured me enough with what he did to Max and mom, not to mention what he's done to me. Either way, I couldn't do it here. I had to do it someone else, somewhere safe, somewhere dad wouldn't find me. And I knew where to go. Without a second thought, I got up. The adrenaline blocked out all the pain. I was ready for this. This was something I've wanted for years.

I ran outside and into the cold night air, looking around. I needed a jacket, but it didn't matter. Soon, I would never need a jacket again. I just took off running. Dad was passed out cold, I knew that. I didn't have much time until he wake up. I started running as fast as I could, going to the same place Max used to take me fishing at. The same place we used to have picnics at, back when we were a happy family. The same place Max almost killed himself and would've killed himself if I hadn't showed up. The little stream at the park.

I stop once my feet hit the wooded surface of the bridge, tears running down my face. I'm not sure if they're tears of sadness from what I'm going to do or if they're tears of happiness from the same thing, all I knew was that I was crying. I walked to the middle of the bridge, the best place to jump, and climbed onto the railing, looking down and clutching onto one of the bars. All I could see was rushing water and rocks. I knew that, if I hit the rocks, it was instant death. And that's what I wanted. I closed my eyes, leaning out a bit. The night air blew past me, blowing my hair back from my eyes. I slowly opened my eyes, something bothering me. I was forgetting something.

'The suicide note.' I sighed and brushed off a few tears with my free hand. I wouldn't need that.

"No one would care enough to read it." I whispered to myself. I knew it was true. No one would. I looked down then back up, closing my eyes. My free hand retched for my necklace, gripping it tight as tears ran down my face. When I died, I knew where I'd go. I'd be in Heaven, with mom and all the other angels. And Max, when Max dies he'll go up there with us. Dad wouldn't though. I felt a pang in my heart at that thought. I wanted him to be with us. I knew that he was the man who beat me, killed my mom, and one of the reasons my brother tried to commit suicide, but I couldn't wish bad on him. I have always had a soft heart, despite all the walls I built up. I tried to build them up strong, but it was so easy to break them down. No matter how much I tried to keep people out, I would always end up letting someone in. That's why I tried to stay away from people. With dad, those three years that he was a loving and caring father was enough to make me love him. There wasn't a signal punch he could throw that would change that. He was my dad, no matter how bad of a dad he was. I opened my eyes and looked up at the sky.

"Lord please help him. He has good in him, I know. Please, let this be enough to make him change. Just please. I want him in Heaven with me! I don't care how bad he is. Everyone can change. Change him of the better. Lord, please help him." I whimpered out, trying not to cry. A few tears slipped out though, but I didn't bother to wipe them off. With that, I lifted one foot off the rail, about to step off the bridge and meet my cold, watery death.

"What are you doing?" I heard a high pitch voice screech at me. I jump, holding into the rail so I didn't fall by instinct. I looked behind me.

"D-don't come closer! I'll jump!" I yelled, not knowing who I was yelling at. All I knew was that someone was trying to stop me, and I couldn't let them do that.

"No no no no don't jump. No we're not doing any jumping today." I still couldn't see who was talking, but I knew the voice. I had heard it somewhere. I knew the voice. I squinted a bit, trying to make out any sign of a figure in the dark, and that's when I saw her. That's when I knew how I knew the voice.

It was Anna. The girl from the concert.