You're My Last Hope (Under Edit)

Chapter 39

Chapter 39

I woke up, but I didn't open my eyes. I was too tired to open my eyes. I don't know how long I was out, but it wasn't long enough. I wanted to go back to sleep. I wanted to die. I wish I could've just died when I hit my head. But I couldn't. I'd never get the lucky. I have no idea why I kept hoping for death. It wouldn't happen any time soon by the look of things.

I wasn't aware of much, but I knew I felt someone holding my hand tightly. I could feel someone's warm breath hitting my neck. I could smell someone's cologne. I knew it was Anthony from the feel of the hand and the cologne. I was guessing I was in his room, mainly because of the bed. It was way too soft to be a hospital bed or my bed. Plus, it smelt like him; it had the same smell of cologne as he did. I felt him kiss my cheek and sigh softly.

"I'm sorry Kellin. I-I shouldn't have left you. I shouldn't have ever left you." I should've opened my eyes then but I didn't. I wanted to see if he'd go on. And he did.

"I mean, it was stupid. I guess I was so afraid of you leaving and then you did and....I'm so stupid. I love you okay? More than you'd ever think....I'm just stupid. I didn't realize how much of a good thing I had when I had you as my friend. I hope you'll forgive me...." he whispers the last part, mainly to himself. I slowly opened my eyes and looked over at him. He had his head resting on his arm and was holding my hand, looking away from me. His eyes were closed. He looked stressed. I hope he wasn't stressed because of me. I whimpered and and turned to face him. Pain took over my senses as I did. Anthony's head snapped up and he looked at me, worried. I bit my lip hard, trying to stop thinking about the pain and keep in my scream. I forgot about the knife wound Jason gave me. I should lay on that. It would just reopen it. Anthony sat up straight and pushed me lightly to where I was back onto my back. I didn't resist it and looked over at him. He smiles softly and pets my hair, a bit hesitantly.

"Hey buddy. How are you feeling?" I opened my mouth to say something, but fell into a fit of coughing before I could get a word out. It hurt to cough. It made my chest and head hurt. I covered my mouth and curled up, still coughing hard. Anthony rubs my back as I do, giving me a sad look. I knew he wished he could makes me stop, but he couldn't. Tears started to roll down my cheeks from the pain. I guess my broken ribs haven't healed up yet. I was able to somehow stop coughing after a few agonizing minutes and took some deep breaths. Anthony retched over to a table and picks up a cup.

"Here. Drink this. Mom said it would help." he whispers. He helps me sit up and puts the cup to my lips, tilting it up a bit. I closed my eyes and put my hand on the cup, waiting for him to let go i=of it. H4e didn't though. I didn't know what I was drinking, but it was very sweet. I liked it. I barely ever had sweet things like candy or anything like that. Anthony puts the cup down when I had drunk it all and helped me lay back down. I looked up at him, forcing my eyes to stay open. I was all the sudden tried.

"W-what was that?....That I just drunk?...." I whisper, barely able to make a complete sentence. He pushed my hair back again.

"Sleep syrup. Mom said to give it to you if you got in too much pain. You looked like you needed it. Was it okay I gave it to you?" he asked in a rushed, yet calm voice. I nodded slowly. He moves his hand down to my cheek and started to rub it with his thumb. I leaned into his touch and closed my eyes.

"Okay good. Go to sleep Kel. I love you." Before I could say anything back, I feel into a deep sleep.

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"Hey Kel? Kellin? Wake up buddy." My eyes slowly opened and I moaned a bit. I didn't want to wake up. I was actually sleeping and not having any nightmares. But I guess I had to. I looked up at Anthony and whimpered.

"But I don't wanna...." I whimpered out, closing my eyes again. Anthony laughs a bit.

"Come on Kellin. We need to talk." My eyes snapped open at those words. What did we need to talk about? Why did we need to? I look up at him and whimpered softly. He gives me a small smile.

"Move over?" I did as he asked. He sat down beside me and wrapped his arms around me, making me sit up.. I snuggle into his side and closed my eyes, leaning my head onto his chest. He started to rub my arm softly. As weird as it may seem, I missed this. I missed being able to feel safe. That's how I felt right now: safe, warm and protected. I wanted that feeling to stay; I wish it would. I never felt like that anymore. Ever since Max's attempt I haven;t felt protected. Anthony completely changed that. I felt like no one could hurt me when I was near him, mainly because no one could. He wouldn't let anyone touch me.

"Look Kel....I'm sorry....I was such a jerk to you...." I opened my eyes and looked up at him.

"No Anth don't be. I don't blame you for getting mad. I-I was being selfish...." I said, forcing myself to keep looking at him. He shook his head and looks down at me.

"No you weren't. Don't say that. Please don't. You weren't being selfish. I was...." he whispered. I shook my head again, tears running down my cheek. I finally allowed myself to look down, trying to hide my tears.

"N-no Anth. It was just stupid. I shouldn't have done it. I just felt so weak and I didn't see the point in it anymore. I-I was just looking at Max and I just started thinking about how he'd still be here if it wasn't for me....I loved him so much Anth....Dad's right. I deserved the abuse. I deserve everything that's happened to me. Y-you should just leave Anth really. All I do is hold you back. You'd be so much better off without me..." Anthony lifts my chin up and looks at me.

"Kellin don't say that. You don't deserve any of this. No on does. And I'm not leaving, I already did that once and I'm not making that mistake again. It was the worse decisions of my life. I swear I'm never doing that again." I shook my head. I could feel my bottom lip start to quiver and all the tears start to pour down my cheeks.

"Anthony but I-" Before I could finish my sentence, Anthony did something I didn't expect nor would I ever expect.

He kissed me.