Jobi the poop

15 ((Party like it's 1999))

Jobi was disqualified from the election.

Needless to say, he was not happy at all.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" he screamed in his hotel room. "WHY THE HELL WOULD THEY DISQUALIFY ME?! WHAT HAVE I DONE BESIDES STEAL $5.5 MILLION DOLLARS FROM HILLARY CLINTON?! THIS IS ABSOLUTELY UNACCEPTABLE. I HAVE NOT DONE ANYTHING WRONG!"

Jabi shoved her entire hand in her mouth as she watched him yell in anger and frustration at the news report about him. The two year old baby would much rather be with her mother and father right now. But she supposed Jobi would do. Not really. She didn't have an opinion. Two year olds don't have opinions.

"DAMN IT I'M SO FUCKING PISSED!" he screeched. He picked up the phone and called a number. Megyn Kelly's number. "Hello?" she asked.

"Hey there Megyn Kelly, this is Jobi the Poop, candidate for the United States presidential election-"

"Former candidate, you mean," she corrected.

He scowled. "I wanna change that. Interview me on your show and make me look nice and good so I will be qualified again and I'll become the President."

"It does not work like that, Jobi, but since you are quite literally a piece of shit and do not know any better, okay. I will I interview you."

"Thanks bitch!" he said gleefully as he hung up on the Fox News journalist. He turned to Jabi, who was attempting to climb on a couch. "We're gonna party like its 1999 tonight!" he exclaimed. "Well, I am. You are staying here. BYE!"

Jobi arrived at a Club later, and approached a beautiful looking Poop after he had some beer. "Hey beautiful, you may be crap but your personality certainly isn't. Let's fuck." And so they did in the middle of the Club. They were nearly stepped on multiple times. "Ooooooo yeah that was the best sex I've ever had, thanks babe." He went back to his hotel room.

The door was open.

And Jabi...was gone.