"Who is this Donald Trump idiot and who does he think he is?!"
Jobi was furious. He was watching the news and heard that The Zodiac Killer dropped out. On the republican side, there was another guy that nobody cared about, and Donald Trump. "That rich dump thinks he can beat me in this election???? No way! I'm gonna win, and at my inauguration, Donald, Hillary, and that free college guy will be crying in a corner! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
And then, as Ted left the stage, the screen switched to show a unicorn, walking onto another stage. "Greetings, fools!" he exclaimed, causing the crowds to cheer in happiness and delight. "Thank you so much, Illinois, for showing your love for me! I may have not won first place, since Donald did, but I win second place, and that's good enough! In third place, we have Ted Cruz, in fourth, John Kasich, and in fifth?" He burst out laughing. "The pathetic poop Jobi!"
Jobi's eyes widened, and he was filled with rage. "What?! Excuse me?! How dare you! You idiot! I am the best candidate in the whole entire race! I shall be the future President! Guess who won't be my Vice President, idiot?!"
"He is quite literally a piece of shi–oh, it seems a mother is here with her young child, and I cannot say that word or I'll be sued! Sorry. Well. Anyway, it is obvious that with all of your support, we can defeat Trump! And of course, we can defeat Jobi without even trying! So many people hate him that it's r ally no surprise everyone hates his guts!" The crowd laughed. "Well, I thank all of you for being here and voting for me tonight. I can stop Trump! Because...a candidate as amazing as Ger is rare!"
He turned off the TV after the unicorn (Ger?) walked off the stage and the screen switched to Donald. "I'm going to beat everyone in this dumb election! Especially that unicorn! He looks like he's twenty one or something, is he even qualified to run for President? Then again, I'm not qualified either, but here I am..."
He then knew what he had to do to stop all the candidates from becoming President so he could win.
"I'm making a campaign slogan," he said confidently. "Make America Jobi-er again. And I'm going to campaign. Surprise, states, here I come!"
YOU ARE READING
Jobi the poop
RandomThe adventures of a piece of poop named Jobi. © "Jobi the poop" was created by @i_love_ralph_macchio. This story is mine, the main character is not. And I'm warning you, this story is really stupid.
