In the End, I am only Words

Meaning

Warning: this may be triggering in the beginning. Not really sure, but just in case, I'm letting you know. Also, after this I won't be posting for a few days, maybe a week. I need to let this sink in.

I cannot speak

I cannot sing

My words have no voice

I can only drench myself in tears of uncertainty

Tears of fear

Tears of meaninglessness

Because

every

Damn

Emotion

Is nothing

Yet it is my world

I feel everything at once

And it hurts so much

They begin to blur together

Until finally

I am left with silence

I am silence

I empty myself of words

I don't want to deal with them

Yet they are all I can use to express anything with

Every emotion hurts

With blinding pain

But I do not let go

I don't want to.

And I won't.

I value life

Although I only value mine because I choose to value the life of everything

And I am a part of that

I choose to value life
Because I value love

I choose to value life
Because I choose to value my family, and their love

I choose to value my life
because I weep for those in death

I choose to value my life
Because I choose to believe that others deserve love and compassion

And surprisingly, I am able to give that

I choose to value my life because of my sibling
Because they deserve kindness and happiness

And surprisingly, I can provide that

I choose to value my life
Because I choose to honor my parents for deciding I was worth it

That I am worth it

I choose life

I always will

But I am so scared.

I am so scared....

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I reached a breaking point I didn't realize I had. And I choose life.  So yes, I won't be back for about a week, maybe less. Love you guys, thanks for reading and will be back soon.

Sorry this is so dramatic

❤️ 

Eris