I take a bite from my apple, while I scroll on my phone through my notifications. When is Nick coming home? It feels like he is away all day.
Nervously I'm ticking with my nails on my telephone screen. What if it's true? What am I going to do?
How would I tell it to mom? Would she accept it? Or is she going to look at me like I'm not her child anymore?
She will probably do the last thing.
It's a sin. It's wrong. The girls are going to hate me. The boys are going to think I'm disgusting. I will have nobody. Expect for that someone who will never leave my side.
Nick.. My soulmate, my everything.
He will stay with me. That's the only good thing. Maybe it's not even a good thing. 'Cause I will only have one person in my life.
Katherine, how is she going to react?
She is probably going to look at me with disbelief in her eyes. She is going to act like she is happy. Just for my own good, because she knows how hard it will be. But deep in her eyes I will see the look of disappointment. Because I did wrong. And it's my own fault. And she is right. I could've done something to prevent it. But I didn't.
Lisa.. She is probably not even going to look at me. She will think I'm wrong and stupid. Because that's what I am. I'm stupid. I made this mistake and right now I'm even to afraid to tell anyone.
Amy is going to give me a hug. Saying she will be there for me. But with everyone against me? She is going to be afraid. She will not support me. Because she is afraid people in our own family will look differently at her. And that's going to happen. Because people judge eachother. Even when you're family. And Amy is already looked different at. She can't handle the critism from her own family. Because critism of your own family is the worst critism.
Lauren. I don't really know about her. She will think I'm stupid and that this is my own mistake. But she is not a person who would leave me alone and be mean about it. That's just not her personality. But then you've the rest of my family who is going to manipulate her. And she will listen.. Because she is afraid. We're all afraid of everything.
Dani is maybe the only one who will support me. She will be excited. But mom is never going to let her near me anymore after this. Mom knows how Dani is. When she wants something she is going to try her hardest to get it. And mom is not going to expect that. And there is also a change that Dani will be to busy with her own things maybe she won't even care about it.
The little boys are going to think I'm weird. Because mom and dad are probably going to say wrong things off me. Or they will twist the story. Only to get them to their own side. But I deserve it. I did wrong. This is not supposed to happen.
Alex and Mike.. I don't even know what they will do. Mike. Maybe he will support me? Or Alex will h-
"Sweetheart! I'm home!" I hear Nick screaming through the house. Suddenly I stop taking bites from my apple. Oh no... He is home.
How is he going to react?! How am I going to tell him?!
"Christina? Are you there?!" I hear him getting closer by the footsteps in the hall. "Y-yeah.. I'm here" I say. You can hear clearly in my voice, that I have cried. It's all raspy and it sound horrible.
"Christina! Are you okay? You sound like you've been crying for an hour" Nick comes while walking into the living room. I look up from lap. "I.. I have to tell you something..." I say while I feel the tears springing back into my eyes. He probably sees it to.
"Christina? What is it?" Nick says while hurrying to my side. He sits next to me on the couch and grabs my hands. "I'm so so sorry.." I say while choking on my tears. Worry is the only emotion in Nick hi eyes right now.
"Hey.. hey.. You don't have to be sorry" Nick says while he hugs me and tries to calm me down. "I-I don't kn-know what to-o do an-anymore" I say trying to calm myself down.
But of course I've to get an panic attack almost. I start to breath faster "Christina.. I want you to look at me" Nick says while he grabs my face with his hands. I look into his eyes while my tears are still going down my cheeks. Why is this happening to me?!
"Breathe slowly.. Do the same as me" He says and slowly I calm down. Okay.. Everything is okay..
But I still need to tell him.... Everything is not okay.
"Christina? Can you tell me what's wrong? Without freaking out?" Nick asks when I'm really calm. "Y-yeah.. Please don't get mad at me" I say pleading him. "No.. I won't get mad, Christina" Nick looks really worried at me.
Of course he is worried Christina.. You just have to tell him. Don't wait any longer. You need to get this of your heart.
"So.. I wasn't feeling very well for the last couple days and I decided to take a test.." I say while looking at my lap. "Are you sick...?" I hear Nick asking quietly next to me. I wish I was sick. I wouldn't disappoint everyone.
"It was a pregnancy test..." I say. It's quiet.. He isn't saying anything. I hear him breathing slowly, like he's waiting for me to continue. Right now I've to say it.
"And it came out positive."
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Okay.. the secret of Christina isn't maybe that surprising or original but.... It's a begin!!!
Just wait for the rest ;) .
