This isn't fair. (BoyxBoy) [MalePregnancy]

chapter 8: Casey

*Casey's point of view*

I can't believe I hit Michael. He has always been nice to me. I don't know how I had the courage to punch him. I was in this situation before! I can't even look at myself in the mirror. I'm disgusted with myself. I saw him leaving school; I think I saw tears rolling on his cheeks. I probably broke his heart. I've never felt this guilty in my whole life.

At the end of the day before leaving school with Russell, I stopped; I had to speak with him.

"Russell, can I talk to you two minutes please?"

"Yeah, what do you want?" He asked me, raising an eyebrow.

"Don't be too hard with Mika please. He's really nice and he doesn't deserve all this shit." I said, glaring at him in the eyes. "As you probably already know, he had a hard past so please take it easy with him."

"Why are you telling me this? You left him for us. We're cool, he's a loser. He's a pain in the ass!" Russell answered, rolling his eyes. He didn't care about Michael at all and it was easy to see his hate for him.

"Please, Russell. You know he tried to kill himself last year because of people like you! I understand you don't like him but leave him alone. He never did anything to you." I begged, not wanting to imagine what he went through and what Russell would likely still put him through.

"Leave me alone Casey, we will talk about this another day." He said, heading for his car.

I watched him leave then walked home. My mother was in the kitchen with a cup of tea.

"Mom, can I ask you something please?" I asked, looking everywhere but in her eyes.

"Yes, of course. What do you want to know?" She asked in a gentle voice while looking at me with curious eyes.

She had long brown hair and big blue eyes. She looked younger than she was. She was really beautiful and I was glad she was my mother. I took a lot of her features, especially her mouth, her nose or even the shape of her face which made me proud to know I was good looking.

"What would you choose between, a relationship with a guy which may not last or being one of the most popular guys at school?" I asked staring at the table.

"Well, I would choose the relationship because even if it doesn't last forever, I would have great memories of it and maybe I could stay friends with this person, whereas the popularity means nothing. Once high school is over, the popularity means nothing." She answered with a small smile.

"Okay, thank you." I mumbled.

"Don't you want to talk about it?" She asked, confused.

"No, thanks. Everything is okay," I say leaving.

I went in my room and tried to call Michael. I needed to apologize. I tried to call him for ten minutes but he didn't answer. I guess he's really mad at me and I completely understand. I was a real dick, but I want to be popular as well. This choice is horrible. I can't choose. If I want to be with Michael I'll be bullied and I don't want that to happen ever again...

I did my homework then took a quick shower. Then I watched an episode of 'The Walking Dead' lying down on my bed in only my boxers. After that I turned off the light and tried to sleep; I didn't even want to go to Russell's new party anymore.

I was awoken by the noise of my phone. Someone was calling me. I groaned, looking for my phone. Once I found it I answered the call without looking at who was calling me.

"Mmhh?"

"Casey?"

"Yeah, who it is?" I mumbled, rubbing my eyes.

"Lola." She said laughing.

Oh yeah, it was Russell's girlfriend. Why was she calling me?

"Oh yeah, sorry I didn't recognize you. I just woke up. Why are you calling me?" I asked yawning.

"I thought you would be at the hospital right now... I guess you didn't hear the news today..." She started to say and I could hear the awkwardness in her voice.

"Wait... what news? Why would I be at the hospital?" I asked, slightly panicked.

"Mika is at the hospital. School has been cancelled today because of this. He's in the coma right now. He... he tried to kill himself...again."

"No... oh god what did I do?!" I whispered, tears welling up in my eyes.

I ended the call and dressed myself quickly. Then I rushed out of my house and ran towards the hospital. 
The receptionist was a young man in his twenties. He had red hair and green eyes.

"Why are you here, young man?" He asked me with a smile.

"I... I need to see Mika... I mean, Michael Holbrook Penniman, please."

"Are you a relative?"

"Sort of..." I mumbled.

"Follow me."

I followed him. He took me in a small room. The room was small and white. There was a single bed in the middle. Michael was in it, unconscious. He was pale. He looked so weak. His parents were sitting on chairs staring at him silently.

Her mother looked at me, a single tear made her way down her cheek.

"Hey Casey... why are you here?" She whispered.

"I...I'm sorry... if I would have stayed with him he wouldn't be here right now." I said, crying.

"It's not your fault. It's mine. I shouldn't have let him stay at his old school." She said, crying.

"He cut his wrists again, right?" I asked in a small voice.

"Yes... he lost a lot of blood, more than last time. The doctor said that he may not make it... the cuts are really deep... that's why he wanted...."

She was interrupted by a loud noise.

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP....

Four doctors came into the room. That's when I understood what was happening. He stopped breathing. He was dying and it was my fault.

The doctors were screaming trying to wake him up but nothing worked.

"We are losing him!" Shouted a nurse, panic in her voice.

I then did the only thing I knew. I ran away. I didn't want to see him die and even if he doesn't die, I'm sure he will be happier with someone else. I don't deserve him. I ruined everything and it would probably be better for both of us to stay away from each other. We weren't mean to be together.