Missingfur: *tosses his head* Welcome back to the twenty-third episode of I May or May Not Have an Evil Plan! Today, we're going to be doing what we always do—killing Normalstar and taking over the Clan.
Velvetpaw: It's the twenty-second episode.
Missingfur: *grins at her* Whatever! Details don't matter... let's just get on with the plan :3
Velvetpaw: *grumpily.* Are you going to ever tell us what the plan is?
Missingfur: No, it's a secret.
Missingfur stalks off into the bushes, swaying his tail as he does so. The sound of a sharp scream and a chainsaw going off is audible.
Velvetpaw: Uh...
Bleeding slightly from his left paw, Missingfur pads back into the clearing with a chainsaw in his mouth. He drops it on the ground in front of his overly sassy assistance-slash-apprentice-slash-part-time-fast-food-worker.
Missingfur: Guess what I found! *revvs the engine of the chainsaw.*
Velvetpaw: *rolls her eyes* You obviously found a rubber ducky in the woods.
Missingfur: I actually found one of those too! *pulls out a yellow ducky and tosses it into the spinning chainsaw blades.* But that's not related to my evil plan—uh, my good plan.
Velvetpaw: Why do you even keep calling it a "good plan"? You are trying to take over this place.
Missingfur: *shrugs* Maybe it's a part of my secret plan... maybe it's not...
Velvetpaw: *turns to Sparkwhisker* Do you get what this guy is saying? He's nuts... I swear.
Sparkwhisker: I'm too tired to think... *yawns loudly.*
Velvetpaw: You never think about anything in the first place. *turns back to Missingfur, stifling a yawn.* So let's keep this moving... can we start the plan, even though I don't even know what the plan is.
Missingfur: *lets out a yawn.* Uh, I think we should—*yawns again*—take a nap before we do anything else.
Velvetpaw: Yeah, you go nap like a kit... I'm going to go try and convince Normalstar that I need a new mentor. *starts to pad away.*
Velvetpaw pads into the leader's den as Missingfur trudges toward the warrior's den, ready to take a looooooooooong nap. The chainsaw and the rubber ducky are abandoned in the center of camp.
Velvetpaw: *is talking to Normalstar.* —and he never trains me! Could I please have a new me—men—mennt—*breaks off into a yawn.*
Normalstar: Sorry, what were you saying? *tips his head to the side in curiosity.*
Velvetpaw: *finishes yawning.* Sorry... I was saying could I please have a new mento—
Normalstar: *interrupts her with a yawn.* Sorry! My bad... I guess it's contagious.
Velvetpaw: Right. Well, as I was saying, I would really appreciate if you could appoint me a new mentor. Or get Missingfur to actually train me sometimes. *rolls her eyes at the thought of her mentor.*
Normalstar: I'll talk to him l—la—later. *yawns.* For now, just go train with Flamepaw.
Velvetpaw: I'd rather train with Tinypaw. All Flamepaw does is go on and on about how Missingfur is always trying to kill you, and that I'm his assistant, and that you never notice any of this.
Normalstar: *yawns.* I'm going to take a nap... you go find Bigpaw.
Tinypaw: *pokes head into den.* You literally just messed up my name... it's Tinypaw.
Normalstar: Goodnight Bigpaw and Silkpaw. *falls over in his nest.*
Velvetpaw lets out a sigh and picks her away around the sleeping tom, exiting the den. Tinypaw trails after the other apprentice, her Coach purse hanging on the side of her flank.
Velvetpaw: *is struck with an idea.* I'll be right back! *rushes into the warrior's den.*
Missingfur: *looks up at her sleepily.* What do you want?
Velvetpaw: Normalstar is sleeping! Go kill him or something!
Missingfur: I'm too tired.
Velvetpaw: You can sleep la—later. *yawns.*
Missingfur: You look tired too...
Velvetpaw: No! I must fight it!
Missingfur: You're going to sleep to... *falls back to sleep and starts snoring.*
Velvetpaw: *yawns and faints.*
Brought to you by Rio. ⛈⛈
YOU ARE READING
I May or May Not Have an Evil Plan
Humor[Cover and concept by Frostfire] Welcome to our new show, hosted by Missingfur, who may or may not be planning to take over the world.
