When We Were Young // Dylmas

26. ugly truth

Dylan pov

After what felt like centuries, Jesse finally came out Thomas' room.
"Your turn" he said and nodded towards the door.
My hands were sweating and I took a deep breath.
For five minutes I just stood in front of the door, shaking.

Just before I could lay my hand on the door handle, a nurse stepped in front of me.
"And where do you think you're going" she said.
"Doctor... ehh, L. Lexis, my friend is inside and I NEED to see him. It's important."
"No, you can't, you really can't"
"PLEASE" I screamed and I cried.
"Easy kid, alright, what's your name?"
"Dy-ylan... Dylan O-O'Bri-en" I sobbed.
"Alright Dylan, I'll ask him"
"Tell him Irene Simons is here too" Irene said quickly before the nurse grabbed the door handle.
"I will" the nurse, named Lisanne Lexis, said before she entered Thomas' room.

Now I had to wait again.

I scrolled through the messages Thomas and I had been sending each other.
A few tears escaped my eyes.
His last message was:

T: Fuck Off! I'd rather kill myself than be with you.

And that made me wonder if he really tried it.
Tears streamed down my face, and Irene tried to calm me down.
"Ssshh, it's okay, it's not your fault" she said, trying to make me feel better.
I looked at her with a face that said "are you FUCKING kidding me!"
"Okay, okay, it was your fault. But there has to be something you can do to make him forgive you."
"I don't think so"
"Hey, everything is forgivable. Not always forgetable, but always forgivable"
I nodded.
I really hoped so.

When the nurse came outside she told us that only Irene could come in.
"I- but- what about me?" Almost bursting out in tears again.
"He'd rather not see you right now"
Flashbacks came to my mind.
All from where it started...

That stupid school project.

Or did it begin before that already?

When we really met for the first time.

When Thomas walked into me.

I nodded and Irene went inside, and the nurse walked away.
My life choices weren't that great, but right now, I really needed Thomas.
All I wanted to do was to hold the boy in my arms, my hand stroking his soft, dirty blonde hair.
I just wanted to hold the boy.
No.
I just wanted him to hold me.
What if Thomas won't forgive me?
What if he doesn't want to be together anymore?
I could fall in love again, but I would NEVER love that person as much as I loved Thomas.

Tears were streaming down my face. I covered my face with my hands.
I was sobbing, and there was nobody to hold me.
Jesse had done his job and went home, Irene was inside and that nurse was nowhere to be seen.
I could just open the door, walk up to Thomas and hug him.
But my knees were far too weak. I couldn't manage to stand up, so I just sat in an uncomfortable chair until someone told me it was time to go.
The security guards had to grab me tight and drag me away because I didn't want to leave.
Leaving the hospital felt like leaving Thomas.

When I was home, I finished my drawing for art class.
I drew a maze. A maze you could never escape.
That maze was a metaphor for my feelings and my pain.
A maze I kept running through, without finding a way out.

A/N
This was the last chapter, EEEKK!
BUT, I have a bonus chapter!
Only for the ones who want it, of course. Let me know in the comments💖💛💙